Zane Lucifer Bishop
Slytherin
[green]6th Year Slytherin[/green] Elemental Master of Metal
You people all have to learn. This world is going to burn.
Posts: 483
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Post by Zane Lucifer Bishop on Aug 22, 2008 13:10:38 GMT -5
Dwelling once more on his own thoughts, Zee stared off for a moment before refocusing on Susan. A few seconds had passed since her response and she seemed as introspective as he. What was it that seemed to suddenly be bothering her? Despite his general grasp on the human psyche, the way he could often manipulate others, he realized now just how much he didn't know about this girl, how she more than any of the lightfighters had remained outside his sphere of knowledge. She had never seemed terribly involved. He had never seen nor heard of her training or fighting. He had kind of grouped her with Caity, though he knew much more about the Hufflepuff.
Watching her for a long moment, Zee wondered. He'd done nearly all the talking so far even though Susan had been the first one to arrive and it was far more unusual behavior on her part to be out this late in the astronomy tower. Suddenly very curious, he leaned over and nudged Susan lightly with his elbow.
"Knut for your thoughts?"
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Susan Matthews
Gryffindor
[red]5th Year Gryffindor[/red] Shadow Warrior of Earth
goddess, nymph, divine.
Posts: 505
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Post by Susan Matthews on Aug 22, 2008 19:31:22 GMT -5
Susan looked up once more as the light pressure from Zane’s elbow commanded her attention. She smiled weakly at the wizard twist on the muggle phrase, sadly reminding her even more of the troubles with her family. She shook her head at herself trying to decide how best to begin. Preparing herself, Susan removed her weight from the wall, standing up a little straighter and ran her fingers to hair. She brought her hair over to one shoulder, where she held it and twisted it with her fingers, one of her nervous mannerisms.
“You probably wouldn’t get it,” Susan started, avoiding his eyes and choosing to look out at the forbidden forest instead. Another weak smile donned her face as she realized she was somewhat repeating what Zane had said at the beginning of their conversation. She had proved him wrong, maybe he could do the same, Susan decided bravely. Taking a deep breath she let her eyes leave the dark woods in the distance to find Zane again.
“So we’re all in this war right,” she did her best to keep her voice steady, “and I don’t know what I’m doing,” her heart dropped as she said the words she’d been thinking for the past months. True, she had learned the basic forms from D’rorah and she still remembered the memory from Keaira with the chants to ward off shadows, but there had to be more to it than that. Afraid she would loose her nerve, Susan forced herself to continue. “I’ve seen and heard of the traumas that nearly all of us have endured,” she confessed, feeling her throat tighten, “And it’s not hard to see I’m the only one left.”
Keeping her grip on her hair, she tried to maintain her cool for as long as possible. “What am I supposed to tell my family when it happens? If anything happens?” Realizing just how much she had shared, Susan shut her mouth. Zane theoretically had only offered a knut, and from the way she found it difficult to swallow it seemed she had supplied a galleon’s worth of her thoughts to a boy she had only just became friends with.
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Zane Lucifer Bishop
Slytherin
[green]6th Year Slytherin[/green] Elemental Master of Metal
You people all have to learn. This world is going to burn.
Posts: 483
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Post by Zane Lucifer Bishop on Aug 24, 2008 22:36:42 GMT -5
Watching as Susan performed what he assumed to be a nervous tick, Zee kept his face neutral, nonjudgmental. At her disclaimer that he may not understand he shrugged lightly, conceding that he may not. He remained quiet, patiently waiting as her eyes roamed about, his expression curious and nonthreatening when she finally looked back at him. A slight nod was the only indication that he understood where she was going as she confessed her own sense of being lost. In his mind he again grouped Caity and Susan together. They were not warriors, that much was apparent. Whether they ever would be, Zee doubted. It was difficult for him not to see this as a weakness.
Zee's head cocked slightly to one side when she said she was the only one left. Thinking about it, he supposed she was right. Vaguely he recalled D'rorah mentioning that neither Susan nor Caitlin had suffered the trauma that seemed to be a requisite for Shadow Warriors. After all the insanity with Mallan, and now that Gat was dead, it seemed that Cait's trauma had come calling. He understood that after witnessing everything the rest of them had endured, Susan was terrified of what might befall her.
Genuine compassion was not Zee's strong suit, but he was learning. He could fake it easily enough, but that seemed counterproductive to his goal of no longer lying with every breath. Thus instead of pushing off the ledge to land beside her, give her a reassuring hug and tell her everything would be all right, Zee remained silent and pensive for several moments after she had finished. After thinking over it, he finally responded.
"I suppose you tell them that you love them. I don't think there's much else you can say. You could explain the situation to them and encourage them to flee the area, get somewhere far away, but they mightn't believe you and wouldn't likely leave you here if they did. Their ignorance may be their best defense however. As for yourself Susan, you are not alone. We would all protect you if necessary, and some of us can train you, prepare you for what is to come."
He shrugged noncommittally at the end, his expression and voice both grave.
"I don't know what else to say."
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Susan Matthews
Gryffindor
[red]5th Year Gryffindor[/red] Shadow Warrior of Earth
goddess, nymph, divine.
Posts: 505
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Post by Susan Matthews on Nov 29, 2008 23:18:22 GMT -5
Ooc- Haha I’d forgotten about this.. thought I would wrap it up before we get too far ahead in other things.
The time between her finished words and whatever Zane might say next seemed an eternity. Of course her troubles were only trifles in comparison to those described previously as well as those that remained unsaid yet inertly known. A part of her wished for him to tell her that she was silly for thinking such things, that of course everything would be alright in the end. Zane was smarted than that, Susan soon found out as he had put his words together at last, formulating an even response. Truthfully, she couldn’t blame him as lying wasn’t a strong suit of hers, whether or not it was for him as well.
Why lie? She thought to herself in response to Zane’s suggestion of expressing love toward her family. Of course she did love them, but it was in that forced ‘just say it’ way. She nodded slightly as he continued speaking, knowing his answer before he spoke it. The choice was obvious when it came down to it, logical in fact. That didn’t mean she liked it though. To tell her parents something like this would be the last straw in her thoughts. Whether or not this was really true was oblivious to her.
It was simple enough for anyone to see that she was in truth, the only one of their group left to suffer. So why evade the inevitable? Her shoulder’s slumped slightly, but whether from exhaustion now or the sheer depression result from what was to come she did not know. “Thanks,” she told Zane, meaning it more how it sounded out loud. Maybe she should have added at least you tried,or maybe I’ll think about it, but she didn’t see the point anymore; effort had escaped her.
“I wonder what time it is,” she said absently moving away from the wall and rubbing her hands up and down her arms, creating an ephemeral heat from the friction. She knew their fortuitous meeting had served its purpose and she didn’t’ care to push it much farther. “You know, I’m really glad we were able to talk,” Susan told Zane somewhat formally, despite the real gratitude she felt for being given the chance to begin to understand the boy before her. “You’re not gonna give me detention are you?” Susan joked dryly, using her last bit of energy to instill some humor into her goodbye.
With a small smile, she turned, intending to leave Zane in the tower, unless that was if he chose to follow her down and back indoors, but she didn’t really expect him too. Reaching the bottom of the small flight, she thought about heading to the owlery, of taking Zane’s advice literally and presently. Yet in her hesitation, she blinked resting her eyes for longer than natural, and in the end, choosing to turn down the other corridor in stead, back the way she had come and in the direction of her empty common room.
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Zane Lucifer Bishop
Slytherin
[green]6th Year Slytherin[/green] Elemental Master of Metal
You people all have to learn. This world is going to burn.
Posts: 483
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Post by Zane Lucifer Bishop on Dec 2, 2008 19:47:29 GMT -5
The all in all defeated manner of Susan's motions and tone did nothing to encourage Zee that he had said the right thing. He again noted the irony that back when he had not truly been on the lightfighters' side, he would have done a far better job of making them feel optimistic about their whole undertaking. He'd have lied brilliantly to them through a broad and friendly grin, assuring them that they would triumph. Now though he could only give them his honest view: chances were good they would all die.
He was not without hope of course, and had no intention of lying down and dying. He simply saw little use in leading others in futile therapy sessions, telling them life was all sunshine and dancing, or that it ever would be. Life was painful and cruel, and lately overwhelmingly dangerous. The sooner they all came to terms with that, the better off they would be when on the field of battle. Still, he was not completely devoid of sympathy. He knew what it was to feel suddenly thrust into a situation you had no idea how to handle.
"So am I. So am I."
As Susan moved away from the wall, Zee took her place, leaning against the cold stone. Whether from the climb up the tower or the excitement at having initially believed himself to have caught a follower of the mage, his blood was pumping strongly and the cold stone felt good against his temple. A tiny twitch tugged at the left corner of his lips for a moment at her small joke. Perhaps it would be best to actually give her a detention, if only to protect her from the headmistress' suspicion. Some other time though. This night had been hard enough on the poor girl. Turning away from her as she departed, Zee's eyes drifted slowly over the darkened grounds.
"Goodnight Susan."
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