Fiery memories

[D'rorah Philosophy]

She simply looked at Alessandro without speaking as he clarified that he didn't mean to suggest nothing was happening. Her gaze switched soundlessly to Wysteria as she began speaking.

D'rorah nodded slightly in response to Wysteria's question. Being a more cohesive unit would help them far more than any training she might be able to offer, in her opinion. They would accomplish very little as they currently were... all scattered and dealing with their own private hurts and quarrels. [blue]"I would certainly never argue with anything which enables us to be more prepared,"[/blue] she replied, not relishing the thought of coming across a Shadow Vampire or any unfriendly vampire in the slightest.

She listened without speaking as Alessandro moved the topic on to the coordination of the trip to China, her hand fingering a lock of hair as he motioned to it. [blue]"This is a remnant of too many near corruptions... of having lost so many Elemental Masters and still fighting without them,"[/blue] she replied quietly. She had come to tolerate the change in her physical appearance, but she still didn't like the fact that it made her so much more visible. [blue]"I have teetered on the edge of corruption on several occasions... and it is that which has left so many indelible alterations to my physical form. Change in physical appearance is not typical... it has not been noted in any of the research I have done. My situation, given the changes in Elemental Masters and the captures by the Mage's agents and the tortures intended to corrupt me, is anomalous.

She pursed her lips slightly as she finished speaking, and felt her jaw tense as Alessandro questioned about Vampires. Added danger was the last thing their group needed, and having vampires around was certainly a danger. [blue]"It would not be unreasonable to believe there were vampires nearby; however, I am certain we would already know if there were actually any here at Hogwarts,"[/blue] she replied, her eyes seeking out Wysteria's for confirmation of the statement.

[blue]"As far as coordinating the trip to China, I intend that we will travel in pairs... and any necessary story will be fabricated to suit the family in question. Misters Kelley will have no need of a charade, as I believe their parents are to be informed of what is happening. Myself, Miss O'connell, and Mister Bishop have no parents to speak of at the moment who would need to be concerned with our whereabouts... and the others shall be dealt with as the need arises. I intend that this summer will finally bring us all together. We have been fragmented for far too long."[/blue]

[Wysteria Edwin]

"Vampires wander into the forest on occasion," she said, nodding to Dee. "When I lived there I saw evidence of vampire kills, but I'm not sure why they were there. I only know they didn't stay long enough to maintain a territory." Wysteria wondered about the reason for vampires flitting in and out of the forest, but she did not dwell on the question, half anxious about the answer and half knowing she wouldn't be able to investigate the cause anyway. "But I believe the Mage intends to hide them for as long as possible, since vampires are prone to inter-clan wars, and shadow vampires may be seen as another faction to take power from. Unless the Mage has already gotten the Queen on her side...then we'll need to worry." She raised her eyebrows a bit, trying to delicately straddle her dark humor and realism.

We have been fragmented for far too long

"You're right about that," Wyst said, her mind recalling her own connections with each member of the Lightfighters, and the scenes from her mortal life played with parts missing, lines dubbed over and the film degrading. They were also increasingly seen in third person in her psyche. From her own perspective she had quarrels with Zane and Keaira...in all honestly, "quarrel" was incorrect. "Vastly differing opinions on right, wrong, loyalty and honesty" was probably better. Her opinions on Zane and Keaira would not change their roles, however, and her rational side knew the best option to be accepting the circumstance and trying to improve the relationships. She barely knew a few of the Lightfighters: she had a brief conversation with Bryan, she met Sam only once so far, and Niobe she hadn't ever seen. They all needed to spend time together, if only to become better acquainted.

"Fighting with a group of people must be flawless, and executed well. You need to know how the other people in your group fight, their strengths and weaknesses, their rhythm and technique. We also cannot afford to have petty arguments, like you said, we need to be able to trust the other Lightfighters with our lives. I think China will be good in many ways for these goals." She knew D'rorah wanted the Lightfighters to be cohesive not just for battle purposes, but Wysteria found it hard to wrap her mind around the idea of goodness growing through bonds with people, and wilting without company, so she focused on fighting instead.

"Killing a vampire is very advanced combat. Especially when we encounter shadow vampires." Wysteria never considered using "if". "I woud only feel comfortable training those who already have down the basics. They know the general idea of how to kill a vampire from DADA I'm sure, and that should suffice for a while. I wouldn't worry about vampire for now," she said kindly to Alessandro, giving him a rare smile.

[Alessandro Darko]

The toll that this war had taken on D'rorah was apparent, and Alessandro felt a fiery passion burning away in his heart. This war needed to end. Was it fair for the innocent to become slowly corrupt as a con of having the ability to destroy shadow creatures? No, the answer is no. Alessandro gave D'rorah a reproachful look before turning his attention to Wysteria. As if things just weren't bad enough, now they had to throw vampires into the mix, and not just any vampires, shadow vampires. Alessandro thought to mumble "Oh Bother..." and slump down into his chair dismally, but he felt he needed to be stronger than that. That weak person died a long time ago, months before his most recent tragedy. He merely closed his eyes and shook his head slightly.

Never at any one time had he wished that Zane was around. Vanquishing vampires would probably be his forte. Controlling metal, he would be able to manipulate many silver stakes at once, and with his precision and accurate aim (as witnessed first hand, or, third person to be more specific during their duel) they would be a strong force to be reckoned with. With a furrowed brow, Alessandro contemplated on whether or not Dylan could make wood float? Wooden stakes would work just as good, yeah?

So it was a general consensus. They all were fragmented. Needed bonding. It struck Darko as a little unnecessary to have to go to China to bond with each other. They should be able to do that right there in the castle, but it was a good idea for the training aspect in his opinion. Realizing he had been staring at the floor for a minute while Wysteria had been speaking, he pulled his gaze back up to her to catch the tail end of her speech.

He had no experience whatsoever. He was the one with the least amount of hands on training in hand-to-hand, or combat. He relied way too much on his magical abilities and elemental powers and completely disregarded the physical aspects, as he usually tended to do. Why bother when you have magic? He felt a small pang of shame wash over him like a cloud obscuring the sun, casting a small shadow on a sunny field. With a self-righteous smirk, he cast that cloud away into oblivion as he enforced himself as being very adept with his spellcraft for his age, and that he was probably more useful with the mental aspects anyway. He never was one for physical labors-- save for Quidditch.

"Thanks for the reassurance, Wyst..." He said, breathy, with a half-hearted smile. "Well, you lot, I think I am bound for bed...my brain has had a bit too much stimulation tonight and it's best to put it to rest, I think." he said standing from his chair. He gave both of them a look as he said his next piece. "I know where to find you both if I remember something significant...from...you know." He said, knowing that having Dee in his house, and Wysteria in his head would prove easily accessible if he needed to speak with either of them at any given time of day.

As he walked to the door, he turned once to smile at them both before he looked back ahead. It saddened him to see D'rorah diminishing into the shades of gray that were slowly consuming her. Wysteria was not the same either. Were they all doomed? Some have died, some corrupted and eaten from the inside out. Some chose dark over light, and some died and came back to life. The pit-fall in his stomach intensified as he gripped the handle of the door to exit the R.O.R. The bad feeling was growing, and as if he was having one of his "flashes" he realized something.

I've not had any visions lately... and with that, he turned the handle and exited the room with a confused expression that quickly melted away as he bade them goodbye and goodnight, and then stalked off into the darkened corridors of the castle, hurrying back to Ravenclaw Tower.

[EXIT ALESSANDRO]

[D'rorah Philosophy]

D'rorah caught Alessandro's reproachful look as she explained the cause of her changed appearance and lifted her eyebrows slightly. She wasn't entirely certain she had read the look correctly, given that she couldn't see she had particularly done anything warranting reproach... other than surviving the Mage's attempts to corrupt her.

[teal]"I woud only feel comfortable training those who already have down the basics. They know the general idea of how to kill a vampire from DADA I'm sure, and that should suffice for a while. I wouldn't worry about vampire for now,"[/teal]

[blue]"That would leave yourself, Mister Bishop, Miss O'connell, myself... and perhaps the Mister Kelley, the younger, as well,"[/blue] she remarked, mentally assessing the fighting abilities of the Lightfighters almost instantly. Alessandro obviously was not a fan of the idea of vampires, as she noted from the corner of her eyes a shake of his head and the closing of his eyes. But then, she was certainly no fan of the idea herself. She had faced mere muggles who had been possessed by Shadows before, and those were quite enough of a challenge, especially for those only just learning to harness their powers.

She looked up from Wysteria as Alessandro rose and said his farewells. [blue]"Sleep well,"[/blue] she bade, still internally puzzling over the earlier look of reproach. Was he perhaps another who thought she was unfit for leadership? Though she wanted desperately to see to the welfare of her team, she could count so many obvious instances in which she had fallen far short of that goal. She was making strides to work on her leadership, to be more effective, more receptive to the needs of the others... to make better decisions. She wondered if the doubts would ever quiet... she wondered if Master Xiu had ever felt the same when he had assumed leadership over the Order so long ago. Her eyes followed Alessandro as he left the room and then returned to Wysteria.

[blue]"Am I effective?"[/blue] she questioned suddenly, thinking she would get an honest assessment, as Wysteria wouldn't think to factor emotions into the equation when answering the question in her current state. She thought she saw a quizzical look cross her companion's face and quickly clarified, [blue]"as a leader, I mean."[/blue] She worried that the answer would be a "no"... oh the guilt that would pile on top of her already cumbersome mound. But then, with honest feedback, she would change... and if the answer was somehow, miraculously a "yes", then perhaps she could find the strength to carry on in that.

[blue]"I grow so weary of this war,"[/blue] she remarked quietly, looking down at the now cool cup of tea in her hand. She shivered slightly, annoyed at her body's physical reaction to her neverending chill.

[Wysteria Edwin]

"I'll train any of them, but I would rather have you in the room if Zane is the only candidate. His or my temper could flair, and his strength combined with my weakness...well I just don't like the idea of that."

Wysteria nodded to Alessandro as he left, mimicking D'rorah comment to "sleep well". She noticed his apprehension and discomfort increase once vampires were mentioned, and Wyst wondered if telling her Elemental Master tonight was wise. D'rorah handled difficult news with more reserve than any other human she'd met, maintaining dignity without losing sympathy and compassion for others. D'rorah did not waver like other humans, and kept her expressions limited and her emotions placid and cool, so Wyst knew she could relay information without an emotional outburst or breakdown.

She was beginning to see that Alessandro did not posses the same calm control, and that a few times she unintentionally upset, angered, or confused him. In hindsight, she thought her speculation about vampiric activity could have been kept to herself, since the information contained little relevance to the present. Wyst understood vampiric qualities inspired fear and awe, not trust, so she made allowances for all the Lightfighters. The main struggle, to her, was regaining her humanity, not the others adapting to her transformation.

"Am I effective?"

Wysteria furrowed her brow and cocked her head to the side, knowing this indicated puzzlement, but her eyes reflecting some degree of confusion as well.

"as a leader, I mean."

Wyst relaxed her face, surprised by a question so out of place with their conversation. She considered the question, not sure what D'rorah defined as "effective", but knowing a general idea of the boundaries she might place on the term.

"In short, yes. To me, you are confident, intelligent, and capable of guiding our group in the right direction. You handled my transformation with a great deal of delicacy." She paused, considering the criticism raised shortly after Wyst returned to Hogwarts. "Your ability to handle difficult situations with grace is also what makes you seem aloof and cold. I also think some have, unfortunately, forgotten why we were chosen in the first place, and what will happen if we don't fight and hone our skills. But I'm sure this will chance once we have to fight shadows again. Reality is a powerful thing."

"I grow so weary of this war."

Wysteria noted her shudder, wondering if being tired made a person cold. She could recall the two sharing space in her mind as a mortal, but she was unsure of the correlation, if the cold made a person tired, of being tired made a person cold. But was the room chilly? D'rorah's skin had paled, almost graying like her hair, but the pale wasn't the glowing, ethereal skin of a vampire. Dee's face and hands had an almost blue tinge.

"Are you cold? And why has your hair gotten grayer?" she asked, hoping to gain more information about the curious state of her friend. She didn't see the other lightfighters' skin blueing, their hair and eyes graying, and Wyst did not know whether to be disturbed or merely intrigued.

[D'rorah Philosophy]

D'rorah nodded as Wysteria stated she would rather not train alone with Zane. Of course, that would be unwise. Given their history together and Zane's penchant for being disagreeable when it suited him, it wouldn't be safe for either one of them. Besides, she was fairly certain Zane would agree... he'd rather not be in a room alone with Wysteria either.

D'rorah was about to retract the question as unfair when Wysteria began to speak. She smiled ever so slightly in appreciation of Wyst's acknowledgment that she had handled her transformation with a great deal of delicacy. It was nice, given how often she was thought of as aloof or heartless, to hear someone recognize an attempt to be understanding and available to a Lightfighter. After Wyst had finished speaking, she smirked slightly. [blue]"I believe, perhaps, you agree with me because we are very emotionally alike at present,"[/blue] she replied. [blue]"However, it is quite reassuring to hear that my own perceptions are not flawed in their logic."[/blue]

She looked over at her comrade as Wysteria asked if she was cold and if her hair had gotten greyer. She smoothed a hand over her hair slowly. [blue]"I am cold,"[/blue] she replied thoughtfully. [blue]"Constantly, relentlessly freezing, as a matter of fact. It started as only occasional, slight chills... but each subsequent bout with corruption made me colder. Times of extreme emotional distress or separation seem to exacerbate the problem. Though, times of great contentment or satisfaction temporarily stave it off. My change in haircolor is yet another symptom of those corruptions... of the time I spent without an Elemental Master and was separated from my emotions."[/blue] She pursed her lips slightly. [blue]"When Mister Bane died, I was being held in the Department of Mysteries--tortured, in what I believe was another attempt to push me into corruption. I was only able to escape by melding to Shadow Form. But then, when I returned to Hogwarts, I had no Elemental Master to retrieve my emotions... it took all of the willpower I had to pull myself back to human form. And it was only the intervention of the other Lightfighters that kept me from falling permanently into that dark abyss."[/blue] She held her arms out slightly. [blue]"My entire physical appearance has altered as a result of losing so many Elemental Masters... and then, of course, there are the scars themselves."[/blue] She scoffed slightly. [blue]"Fortunately, I have never placed any great import on physical appearance."[/blue] Though, she was not immune to occasional pangs of jealousy when she saw other girls who didn't have to worry about drawing unwanted attention with their appearance. No, they typically wanted the attention they were able to draw...

[Wysteria Edwin]

Wysteria waited until D'rorah finished the explanation of her condition, curious and wishing to understand all the details without interruption.

"Fortunately, I have never placed any great import on physical appearance."

"I agree," Wysteria said, after noting her pause was lengthy and her stature less upright, and hoping she did not miss any signals indicating she had not finished her speech. "I have scars as well, although they are shiny in certain lighting. I like to think of them as reminders for why I don't go darkside, since it's hard for me to grasp concrete meanings of right and wrong, even within myself."

She stared at D'rorah's graying features, a curious smile perking up the right side of Wyst's mouth. Her friend had also gone through a change, like her and Alessandro. But Alessandro had war wounds on the inside; nothing on his body marked the venture to the fire realm. D'rorah was correct that she and Wyst were on similar emotional grounds, relating to the world with cold calculation. D'rorah gave another shiver.

"You can turn up the temperature in the room, I don't feel uncomfortable in extreme heat or cold."

Wysteria paused, unsure if her next question would offend Dee. She knew that honesty was less taxing than decorum, and knowing Dee's appreciation of the blunt, Wyst decided to abandon any sugar coating.

"Do you find it hard to relate to other people since your corruption? I've found you very personable, but I'm not sure if that's all for show, if you act nice and polite because you feel you must. For me, I can't remember much from before I was turned, and everything I can recall is jumbled, warped, and sometimes out of order, although I do have a few very clear memories. When I was living in the forest, and visited by you and Zane, I had more control over my emotions, I felt things, and remembered things. I could have a normal conversation without confusing others or making them uncomfortable. My vampire self was separate from whom I thought to be, a voice in my head. And now, I struggle to even understand humans. I know that this change takes place with all vampires, but I also know that a few have managed to mainstream, appear relatively normal."

Wysteria realized she had rambled beyond her initial question, so she stopped, since she needed an answer before she could advance any further on the subject. If D'rorah did feel detached like Wyst, perhaps she could help with mainstreaming...although the idea was not always appealing to her. Even the word, mainstream, sounded like some sadistic torture done in Azkaban, or the name of a very dull town.

[D'rorah Philosophy]

D'rorah smirked as Wysteria agreed with not placing great import on physical appearance. Her expression immediately became more thoughtful as Wysteria went on to explain that she had her own scars as well, though they were markedly different in appearance from D'rorah's own. She was contemplating the statement that Wysteria had a difficult time grasping meanings of right and wrong when Wyst offered that the temperature couldbe turned up in the room. She shook her head slightly. [blue]"Thank you for the offer, but it does not seem that the ambient temperature of a room has any discernable effect."[/blue] She dressed warmly, wearing thicker layers of clothing, but that was mainly out of habit as she hadn't felt any increased warmth from the effort.

D'rorah looked up again at the next question, meeting Wysteria's eyes as she spoke. [blue]"I have always felt some difficulty relating to other people,"[/blue] she admitted. [blue]"Their behavior is illogical, cruel, at at times downright baffling."[/blue] She paused for a beat as she inhaled, gathering her thoughts to continue. [blue]"However, since my corruption, I have noticed a slightly more difficult time than usual. While I was truly on the brink of corruption, I could not effectively relate to others at all... any reaction that existed outside the realm of pure logic simply seemed anomalous. It was all so unpredictable and strange... as though I was forced to exist in a language that I did not understand."[/blue] A smirk caught her lip at that last statement, as it was little secret that D'rorah tended to relentlessly attack languages she did not understand, having a talent for lingustics and language. [blue]"And then, the return of emotions was like an onslaught... but I realized how distant it had caused me to be from the others, and how much it informs of my interpretations of the world. Even though I must control my emotions, being unable to experience them at all was a different situation entirely. So yes, I can certainly see how you would experience difficulty understanding humans. We are fickle, strange creatures who enjoy indulging our own emotions and selfish desires... all tainted by the very fact that emotions themselves rarely hold shape for any length of time."[/blue]

[blue]"I am confident you will learn to once again interpret the strange intricacies of human emotions. I had begun to figure out how to read them, realizing that it was necessary in order to function effectively among our comrades. And I can assure you, my politeness towards you is in no way a show."[/blue] She smiled slightly. [blue]"Before your disappearance, you were the closest person I had to a friend."[/blue] That, of course, excluded Dylan, but he wasn't merely a friend at the time, and she was fairly certain that romantic interests resided within their own special category. [blue]"I am always available to help you in any capacity you wish. If you desire to integrate into mainstream society, I am certain we can find a solution for that obstacle together."[/blue]

[Wysteria Edwin]

((OOC: I'm really wired from caffeine right now and am about to take a nap, so if this post is a bit sloppy I apologize)

D'rorah put into words all the difficulty Wyst had been experiencing over the past few months: the odd disconnection, lack of understanding, feeling to be a stranger in a strange land. She was glad to know that another person had shared her detachment, and that Dee succeeded in recovering her former self after the trauma of being separated from her emotions.

..."We are fickle, strange creatures who enjoy indulging our own emotions and selfish desires... all tainted by the very fact that emotions themselves rarely hold shape for any length of time."

"Humans are strange, aren't they? People don't understand the difficulty involved in trying to read emotions when you have few to speak of..." Wyst said.

..."I am always available to help you in any capacity you wish. If you desire to integrate into mainstream society, I am certain we can find a solution for that obstacle together."

Wyst nodded, agreeing on several points of her speech. She did not need to delve into her mortal memories to know that D'rorah had been a friend to her before Wyst's capture: Dee was the only person Wyst trusted to reveal herself to at first. The vampire was glad to know, however, that in her former life she proved to be a vital companion to Dee, who continued to be invaluable to Wyst in her immortal life. She was hoping her friend could now answer the questions Wyst was plagued with recently.

"I believe the most difficult part for me is...going against my nature. Reading human philosophy and religion, many of them refer to an inner voice, or conscience, angels whispering in your ear. Those all seem to resemble their idea that there's this innate idea of the good in mankind. But I don't have that," Wyst said, shrugging. "My inner voice, my conscience tells me little, mostly just when I'm hungry that I need to hunt humans, and I've tried to block it out. My instincts are a different matter, because they aren't sentient, only reactive. Sometimes the two agree, like telling me to find other vampires and not stay at Hogwarts."

She paused, knowing that other forces exerted control, but not sure of how to express their pull. "I have an idea that I need to stay here though, to stay with the Lightfighters. My mind exerts control, as well as something else...which is separate from the other things I mentioned, that's connected to my time as a mortal. It gives me images of Jeffrey being tortured or reminds me of my duties when I'm feeling weak. But with just these small glimpses of what I do that's bad, it's hard for me to even define what's wrong in my head and what's right. How do I do that? Is that how I regain my humanity? Or is it tied to emotions? Do I need to try and mimic emotions and hope they'll feel real one day?"

[D'rorah Philosophy]

D'rorah listened thoughtfully as Wysteria spoke of the difficulty inherent in going against her nature. She could understand the difficulty of trying to choose between right and wrong when one had no "conscience" to listen to.

[blue]"That pull sounds like duty,"[/blue] she replied after Wyst had finished speaking. [blue]"The idea that one has obligations, tasks, commitments, expectations which must be fulfilled... I suppose that is not truly an emotional basis for judgment. However, it is a start. Some part of you realizes that there are things you must do, and it is fighting to pull you towards doing them even when you are unaware."[/blue]

[blue]"As far as gaining a sense of morality or humanity..."[/blue] she trailed off, her gaze pensive. [blue]"You must define for yourself what you believe to be wrong or right. It will be difficult, given the absence of emotion, as a piece of contriving those definitions will typically lie within the realm of not wishing to cause others emotional pain. However, you have already defined for yourself, against your instincts, that it is "wrong" to hunt human beings to sate your hunger."[/blue] She thought for a moment. [blue]"Perhaps I am not the proper person for this conversation, as my own ethics tend to depend more on logical weighting of the beneficial and adverse effects of a decision. Though, I do have moments when emotion causes me to do things which seem utterly illogical."[/blue] She was referring here, of course, to her relationship with Kerridon... which logically made no sense whatsoever given the danger to both of them if it were discovered. [blue]"But then, I suppose there is a certain weight one might give to one's own happiness and things done in pursuit of that happiness,"[/blue] she conceded with a sigh.

[blue]"I do not know that it is any comfort, but perhaps it would be helpful to know that we all experience difficulty with the determination of good and bad, right and wrong actions. I know that killing causes pain and suffering and that it robs a person of everything he has; however, I have not hesitated to dispatch those who posed a threat to my cause or to the safety of those important to me. I hold little remorse for the loss of those who serve the Mage, beyond the regret that they have wasted their own lives and talents in service to such ruthless evil. Personally, I would prefer if they would all come to understand what it is we fight for, but I know that such hopes are fraught with their own difficulties. so the task at hand seems to be finding some logical system by which to determine one's values. Though it would be expeditious to provide you some clear answer with definitions, that would be much more easily said than carried out. So many situations require the assessment of mitigating factors. Of course, given your increased faculties, you may turn out to have the best judgment of all of us."[/blue]

[Wysteria Edwin]

Wysteria nodded as D'rorah explained her own difficulties in determining right and wrong. In some ways, becoming part of a vampire clan would be easier to determine what she should do--kill as often as you like, pay respects to the head of your clan, and don't get involved in wizarding affairs. But she also knew these codes of conduct would lead to corruption, and she would lose any part of the humanity she wanted to regain. And with her soul tied to Alessandro, she doubted if she could ever fully assimilate into that cruel culture.

"It's refreshing to know that you have problems with figuring out what is right and wrong as well. So I guess that's a human trait, even. Perhaps I should just try to focus on what I observe as being wrong or cruel, and going against that, then trying to find some inner voice telling me what's evil. If I see one of our members being tortured or hurt, I will stop it. If I see innocent people being captured, I'll try to free them. And I'll be civil to those I meet, even those I don't respect, because they are our allies. Maybe I'll find my humanity somewhere...somewhere in there."

Wysteria eyed the tea set, the smooth china's pretty design gave her a kind of defeated feeling. She wondered why staring at the teacup changed her faculties and made her...sad? Was it that feeling? Or was she hungry again? No...it was some emptiness she hadn't felt in awhile.

"Something about this tea set disturbs me," she said, cocking her head to the side. "I put my hands on it earlier and it caused some disturbance in my blood metabolism...and now...looking at it..." she paused, trying to remember what flashed into her mind when the feeling first rose up in her belly. "I remember tea time when I was mortal, and I know that this little part of humanity, so simple but so necessary to our culture, I won't ever experience again. At least, not as a should. Is that silly?" She asked, looking back at D'rorah. "I think I...yes, I miss tea time. Not now, but I did, just for a moment."

A smile perked up the left side of her mouth, to show Dee her amusement. "I guess that's an improvement?" She hardened her mouth again, reminding herself that the next question could not accompany a smile, because it was not humorous to her.

"But, I want to know...well, I think I should tell you that I'm planning to go to Hogsmeade with Sam during nightfall, just to get out of the castle for a while. I'll be taking polyjuice potion and a good deal of precautionary things, but I decided it would be smart to tell you of where I'll be on tuesday night, should anything strange happen."

Wysteria was not sure whether D'rorah would approve of the idea, and that if her leader and friend did not approve, whether she would go on the trip anyway.

[D'rorah Philosophy]

D'rorah nodded slightly as Wysteria spoke about how she would find her humanity. It made perfect sense... acting humanely couldn't help but eventually make humane actions a habit... and that would be an important part of holding onto one's humanity. It sounded like she was off to a good start, at the very least. And of course, D'rorah was there to help... and she had a feeling that this would be the perfect sort of task for Caitlin. She was the humane one, the one who would be most likely able to sufficiently explain why certain things were right or wrong. She pondered briefly the idea of pairing Wysteria and caitlin together as she noticed Wyst's eyes move to the tea set.

She looked at the tea set, brow furrowing ever so slightly as Wysteria stated that something about the tea set disturbed her. She smirked as Wyst stated that she missed tea time. [blue]"I believe silly is an excellent step to recovering one's humanity,"[/blue] she agreed slightly, catching the half-smile of amusement that Wysteria cast in her direction.

Only a flash later, that expression had gone, to be replaced with one far more serious. Her own expression shifted to match as she waited to hear what had caused the change, rewarded only a moment later as Wysteria began to speak. She listened without interrupting, turning the idea over in her head. Her first reaction was that it was absolutely a bad idea. It would be difficult to get her out of the castle and back in without being caught or noticed... and Sam hadn't demonstrated anything that might be called subtlety to D'rorah to inspire confidence that he would handle such an outing discretely. But then, she had to reconsider what it must be like to be constantly stuck in the Room of Requirement.

She regarded her friend for a moment, studying her with quiet eyes. She knew Wysteria had already been stuck up here for far too long. She took a slow breath as she contemplated. [blue]"Though I do have concerns about the wisdom of such an outing, I understand that an opportunity to experience a change of scenery must be far beyond past due at this point."[/blue] She paused for a second before continuing. [blue]"Though I have every confidence in your ability to conduct yourself discretely while you are out, I worry that Mister Kelley might not be quite so apt with discretion. While I realize I cannot accompany you because I would be too easily recognized, I would like to give you a communication crystal to take with you so I can be immediately summoned in the event of an emergency."[/blue]

[Wysteria Edwin]

Wysteria raised an eyebrow when D'rorah intimated that Sam was not always pragmatic in regards to secrecy. Would he be a wise choice to accompany her? While their meeting was enjoyable, she would not risk her own life or the life of her cousin to keep a promise to a colleague. But Sam displayed a clear sense of logic in her presence, so perhaps if she outlined their need for discretion he'd behave appropriately. Hopefully he'd listen, but Wyst decided she would cancel the outing if he displayed a lackadaisical attitude to her concerns.

D'rorah proved her helpfulness once more by offering to give Wyst a communication crystal. The outing would most likely be uneventful, but a direct line to Dee eased Wyst's mind: one could never be too careful. "I appreciate that," Wyst said. "And in regards to Sam, I'll make sure he knows how severely I guard my anonymity if he doesn't already. We'll probably just do some light shopping and return to the castle."

Her eyes flicked back to the tea set. "Do you have any more tips on furthering the development on my own autonomy? I know you've struggled with it yourself...maybe you could give me something to work on during my own time?"

[D'rorah Philosophy]

D'rorah smiled slightly in acknowledgment of Wysteria's appreciation of the communication crystal. She could hardly stand the thought of having two Lightfighters outside the protections of the school without her... and the thought of letting them leave without an easy means of communicating with her was patently unthinkable. She nodded as Wysteria went on to say that she would make certain he knew how severely she guarded her anonymity. She intended to speak with him herself, to make certain he understood just how precarious this particular outing would be.

[blue]"I may speak with him as well,"[/blue] she added, still trying to decide whether that would help or hurt more. Sam tended to be a good team player, so perhaps he would fall in line with her wishes there. But then, perhaps he would decide this was one area where D'rorah was being.. too D'rorah... ish. As Wysteria's eyes moved to the tea set, she pursed her lips slightly, thinking of ways she could recapture her own autonomy.

[blue]"Perhaps reading philosophy will help,"[/blue] she offered. [blue]"Philosophers have been discoursing for centuries on how human beings think and act... how we determine right and wrong. I would also recommend finding a way of spending more time among people... really, there is little substitute for human interaction when one wishes to learn about human behavior. Of course, I do not mean strictly among the other Lightfighters. We are a strange, somewhat.... disfunctional group, at times."[/blue] She took a deep breath, thinking. [blue]"I know it will be difficult to find a place for you to be among other people. Even with polyjuice potion, it would be nearly impossible to integrate into the main student body without the ability to use magic. And I would not wish for you to be far away from the castle, in the event that we needed you... and you are far more protected here than you would be elsewhere. However,"[/blue] she paused briefly before continuing, [blue]"I do have a cottage in Hogsmeade. It is warded, and I have Shadow Dust lining the floorboards so that Shadows and Wraiths cannot pass the perimiter of the home. Perhaps you could move in there and begin integrating with the magical community in Hogsmeade. You would still be close enough that we would be able to respond if an emergency arose... and we would be able to visit with you more freely."[/blue] She looked around at the room with a discerning gaze. [blue]"And certainly, it would be a far more stimulating environment."[/blue]

[Wysteria Edwin]

Wysteria nodded at D'rorah's suggestion to read philosophy, making a mental note to request those books in the room the next time she had a moment to concentrate. The idea of living in Dee's cottage, however, was harder to agree with completely. Wyst longed to be outside again, soaking in moonlight and breathing the cool, calm air of midnight, but the need to protect herself and her cousin continued to overshadow that desire. Integrating into the magical community would be dangerous, since most people would realize there was something...off...about Wysteria. Undocumented vampires were not trusted, and without papers she'd be persona non grata.

"The cottage sounds lovely. But vampires are not known for their ability to live quietly among people without attracting attention. I would need a continuous supply of polyjuice potion, unless we found a less taxing way of altering my appearance." Wysteria paused, suddenly reminded of something she had meant to ask D'rorah earlier. "Although I think what I keep forgetting is I really have no idea what the other side knows about me and my disappearance. My cousin sent me one letter after we parted ways, simply informing me he was alive. I'm curious as to what you think the Mage actually knows, and how much Dark Pheonix knows. To be honest I think they didn't know I was a shadow warrior until after they captured me...I wonder if that info was carried higher." Wysteria gestured to Dee, curious about her view on the matter.

"There's also the problem that I might be revealed during our first large battle anyway, thus ruining all our elaborate efforts to hide me. The only way I could see preventing that is to pretend I'm someone else completely--take polyjuice or alter my appearance before going into battle. My only fear is polyjuice might have some negative effects on my shadow warrior abilities. The potion Keaira makes for me goes more than just skin deep; it has to because vampire DNA is so resistant to change."

Wysteria pictured herself living in the cottage, seeing the stars from outside the windows. It would be much less claustrophobic than the Room of Requirement, but also less safe. But what's that old saying? she thought Hiding in plain sight?