Post by Dylan Cooper on Sept 25, 2008 17:47:11 GMT -5
A small, faint smile rose onto his features as she assured him that she did indeed care about what he thought. Feeling her hand squeeze his lightly, his smile moved to his eyes and he was reinforced with exactly why they were still together; why he still loved her so much. His expression duly faded when she mentioned Zane once more, though he did not look angry; merely thoughtful and slightly resigned to the fact. His jaw clenched almost inperceptibly as she stated that Bishop had changed. Everyone seemed so happy and willing to testify to that fact, yet most were unwilling to register that he had done those things to him.
She had assumed his reaction might not be great when she would ask him to work on forgiving Zane, and indeed, she knew him better than anyone. He knew that her reasoning was right of course, but that didn't stop him from being upset that she would request it. His pain, however, was all too willing to transfer to anger, and he removed his hand from hers and looked away, his eyes turning away from the ones that had just a moment ago been locked onto his own. The moment he was so eager to walk out, he remembered that it was just another way of not communicating to her; the very problem they had just discussed. He should probably be thankful, for all of their sakes, that she was putting the group as a whole above Dylan himself. Somehow, though, he wasn't, at least not on the surface. Deep down he was grateful that she was such a good leader in these times, that she would not let her personal feelings get in the way of getting the job done, but at the same time he longed for her to not carry that burden, and in a glimpse of his selfishness, he wanted more than anything for someone else to carry it simply so that she would not have had to ask him this.
She explained that she had limited abilities when it came to the Elements, and that of course a Master would be better to team with her in training. But it also had him realising that Zane would be training him, and he didn't like the idea a single bit. He knew the Slytherin was more than capable, first hand, even. But that was hardly the reasoning for his dislike of the situation. He barely even registered that she shifted closer; the only reason he realised was because he didn't want her to. At her next words however, he couldn't help but turn his head back to her, though his eyes remained estranged from hers. His feelings were beginning to overwhelm him, but the feel of her hand at his hair settled them briefly and sent his thoughts back to more simple, enjoyable times they had shared, when they hadn't had to deal with these kinds of problems.
Beyond his anger and his pain, he was scared, and though he would not let it show to anyone else, D'rorah was the one person he could expose himself fully to without fear of rejection or disgust. As he felt her lean against him, he wasn't quite ready to return the contact but did not, at least, shy away. "Dee..." he began softly, his voice expressing a fear within him. "I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if I'm strong enough," he said quietly, scared beyond reason that he would be unable to cope and begin fading into someone that he would no longer recognise. Someone bitter and cold-hearted, who focused only on the past and the wrongs committed. And as much as he detested that vision, he was sure that there was no other way; that forgiving Zane was beyond him.
Hoping that he would not have to explain further, he knew it might be inevitable but waited anyway for a reply, for any reply he might receive.
She had assumed his reaction might not be great when she would ask him to work on forgiving Zane, and indeed, she knew him better than anyone. He knew that her reasoning was right of course, but that didn't stop him from being upset that she would request it. His pain, however, was all too willing to transfer to anger, and he removed his hand from hers and looked away, his eyes turning away from the ones that had just a moment ago been locked onto his own. The moment he was so eager to walk out, he remembered that it was just another way of not communicating to her; the very problem they had just discussed. He should probably be thankful, for all of their sakes, that she was putting the group as a whole above Dylan himself. Somehow, though, he wasn't, at least not on the surface. Deep down he was grateful that she was such a good leader in these times, that she would not let her personal feelings get in the way of getting the job done, but at the same time he longed for her to not carry that burden, and in a glimpse of his selfishness, he wanted more than anything for someone else to carry it simply so that she would not have had to ask him this.
She explained that she had limited abilities when it came to the Elements, and that of course a Master would be better to team with her in training. But it also had him realising that Zane would be training him, and he didn't like the idea a single bit. He knew the Slytherin was more than capable, first hand, even. But that was hardly the reasoning for his dislike of the situation. He barely even registered that she shifted closer; the only reason he realised was because he didn't want her to. At her next words however, he couldn't help but turn his head back to her, though his eyes remained estranged from hers. His feelings were beginning to overwhelm him, but the feel of her hand at his hair settled them briefly and sent his thoughts back to more simple, enjoyable times they had shared, when they hadn't had to deal with these kinds of problems.
Beyond his anger and his pain, he was scared, and though he would not let it show to anyone else, D'rorah was the one person he could expose himself fully to without fear of rejection or disgust. As he felt her lean against him, he wasn't quite ready to return the contact but did not, at least, shy away. "Dee..." he began softly, his voice expressing a fear within him. "I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if I'm strong enough," he said quietly, scared beyond reason that he would be unable to cope and begin fading into someone that he would no longer recognise. Someone bitter and cold-hearted, who focused only on the past and the wrongs committed. And as much as he detested that vision, he was sure that there was no other way; that forgiving Zane was beyond him.
Hoping that he would not have to explain further, he knew it might be inevitable but waited anyway for a reply, for any reply he might receive.