Waking From a Nightmare

[Kerridon Paradox]

He was fifteen, with his father and sister on a mission for the Shadow Mage... He saw his sister, Taisy, facing a dark-haired Enemy... Taisy should have taken the opportunity to kill her. Instead, she ran.

“Taisy! Get back here!” The roar came from his father... He looked up to see a curse go in Taisy’s direction... It hit her in the neck... He spoke softly to her, praying it wasn’t too serious... She was very still; obviously unconscious... His father grabbed both of them and disapparated.

His father was upset but Kerridon couldn't understand why... Taisy wasn't dead. She was thirteen; you can't die at thirteen... There was no pulse, though, and a lot of blood... She was dead. Taisy was dead.

Kerridon sat up with a jolt, breathing hard. Another nightmare. The third one this week. That conversation with D'rorah seemed to have prompted a bout of them. They didn't seem to be decreasing in number at all since she'd been killed, but weren't they supposed to? Wasn't he supposed to get over his sister's death and be able to fall asleep without fearing the memories that sneaked out of the dark place at the back of his mind? He was usually fairly good at blocking them during the day, but at night his control lapsed and the past returned to haunt him.

Swinging his legs out of the twisted covers, he reached for a jacket and quietly left the dormitory. It was far too stuffy in there. He needed somewhere quiet to bury those memories again. He left the Ravenclaw common room and immediately thought of the Astronomy Tower. He had been there a few nights ago while accompanying D'rorah on her prefect patrol and had found it very peaceful.

Soon he reached the top of the tower, hoping that it wouldn't contain any younger students breaking curfew. Luckily, no one was there, and he stood with his back to one of the walls, thinking back to that horrible day at the beginning of the year. His father hadn't meant to kill Taisy. He was just angry that she was running from the battle, and he tried to stop her. But the spell hit her in the neck. It hit an artery. By the time they got home she was dead.

A single tear fell down his cheek and he wiped it angrily away. Crying? Him? Forget her! However many times he tried to tell himself that, it never seemed to work... He slid down until he was sitting on the cold, stone floor, trying yet failing to compose himself and bury the memories.

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

Ironic. Zee had pronounced his ability to sleep soundly only a few short weeks ago, and here he was, utterly unable to even truly rest, much less fall asleep. His stomach churned and his head pounded and he was starting to suspect why. That was unacceptable however. He would have to simply master these feelings, potent as they were, and carry on. If indeed it was guilt and dare he think it, remorse, then he would learn to adapt. He would use the pain to his advantage and continue with his increasingly intriguing life.

Wyst. He needed to talk to Wyst. Her presence, irritating as her words sometimes were, was the one thing he could imagine that would anesthetize him from this pain. Or a helpless victim . . . Maybe even Wyst as a helpless victim . . .

No!

The force of the denial shocked him. Zee hadn't been seriously considering that course of action, but he was surprised by how detestable the notion had become to him. Not Wyst then, but someone else. That wouldn't work either though. Deep down Zee understood that Dylan's stray memory of D'rorah had ended his ability to enjoy his favorite pastime. Because of that pathetic little Ravenclaw and his feelings, Zee would be unable to torture anyone without picturing Wysteria in similar circumstances, and that was evidently too abhorrent for him to consider.

Yes, he needed to see Wysteria. He would let the pain show and claim that he'd had a nightmare about his father. That should work well in drawing out the girl's vaunted compassion. Climbing from his bed Zee threw on the clothes he'd worn that day and headed quietly out of the dungeons. So eager was he to reach his sanctuary and the angel he often found there that he didn't even bother to disillusion himself.

The door leading to the winding stairway up through the innards of the tower was ajar. Just slightly so, but enough to tell him it had been used recently. Was his lady already up there, perhaps waiting for him? Zee forcibly moved slowly and carefully up the stairs. They could be dangerous if one tried to ascend too quickly. As he reached the top he allowed a hint of the agony within him to show on his face and began speaking even before he had pushed open the door.

"I had a nightmare about my father. I'm so glad you're . . ."

Idiot!

Zee's surprise was complete when he saw not Wysteria but some boy he recognized from a few of his classes. He berated himself for his foolishness and suppressed his annoyance at his sanctuary being invaded by some uninvited student. Trying to quickly compose himself and erase the surprise and pain from his face, Zee quietly cleared his throat.

"My apologies, you're not who I expected to find. If I may be so bold, you seem somewhat distraught. I understand if you sought this locale in an effort to achieve solitude, but we're both here now so we had best take advantage, yes? I'm Zane Lucifer Bishop. What troubles you?"

Outwardly at least Zee wished to be generally viewed as compassionate by the other students and here was an excellent opportunity to play the part. And in truth, the pain Zee had just barely caught on the boy's face mirrored his own feelings rather accurately. Perhaps there was a bit of genuine empathy Zee felt. Zee moved to likewise sit against the stone wall, leaving a foot or so of space between the two boys.

[Kerridon Paradox]

Kerridon's head jerked up as he heard someone speak. Another boy whom he recognised from a few classes, and who he had seen at the ball with Wysteria Edwin, one of the lightfighters, was standing in the doorway to the tower. The expression on his face was a mixture of pain and confusion.

Idiot! I lost attention while pooling in grief and someone sneaked up on me! Now they know I have weaknesses! See? That’s what happens if I think about her.She is part of the past, so why can’t I just bloody forget about her?!

Outwardly, he hid the self-berating and tried to produce a calm face. The tear tracks on his face were still visible, though, and there was no use in trying to hide them now. If worst came to worst, he could always do a memory charm on his companion; it seemed to have worked fairly well with Quin after the incident in the library.

"My apologies, you're not who I expected to find. If I may be so bold, you seem somewhat distraught. I understand if you sought this locale in an effort to achieve solitude, but we're both here now so we had best take advantage, yes? I'm Zane Lucifer Bishop. What troubles you?" [/color]

“I am Kerridon Paradox,” he calmly introduced himself. “6th year Ravenclaw. I... also had nightmares,” he explained shortly. He did not appreciate the Slytherin pointing out how ‘distraught’ he had appeared. Silent for a while, Kerridon realised that Zane was not going to leave as the boy sat beside him on the floor. Could he not see that he wanted to be left alone, or was he just ignoring the fact? “Who did you believe me to be at first when you came up? I hope I am not interrupting a meeting of some description, but I presumed that at this time no one else would be here.” Might as well make polite conversation and find out more about this boy who was friends with Wysteria. He just wished that the opportunity had arrived at a time when he did actually feel like working. Sometimes working for the Shadow Mage could be such a pain.

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

Paradox. Interesting name. Was he at the Masque? Likely, but I don't recognize him.

Zee had not been terribly observant of his surroundings that night, and also there was the issue of everyone being masked. The only real recollection Zee had of this boy was in Ancient Runes when he'd been told off by both the teacher and the French Hufflepuff. Zee had thought it amusing at the time. The shred of compassion in his heart twinged painfully now though. He turned his head to face the Ravenclaw, his face showing that compassion.

"Ravenclaw hmm? Strange. I know the students in your house aren't numerous compared to my own, yet I seem to keep meeting Ravenclaws. I'm Slytherin by the way. Unfortunately, or so I usually think."

Zee shrugged unconvincingly at Kerridon's question and turned his gaze to the night sky, smiling in spite of himself. Perhaps it would be best not to reveal too much to the general populous of his affection for Wysteria. It would prove rather embarrassing if it all fell through. They had been at the Masque together true enough, but still. Zee would not blatantly explain himself to the boy, but neither would he go to any length to conceal his feelings.

"No no, there was no set meeting. I just thought you might be someone else. A girl I've met up here before. A friend. I likewise had not expected any other to be up here at this hour, which is why I assumed you to be her."

The silly grin on Zee's face revealed clearly that "friend" wasn't the most accurate word he could have used to describe Wysteria, at least not to his belief.

[Kerridon Paradox]

Kerridon watched out of the corner of his eye as Zane turned to face him. He could see a hint of compassion coming through in the other boy’s expression, and hated it.

"Ravenclaw hmm? Strange. I know the students in your house aren't numerous compared to my own, yet I seem to keep meeting Ravenclaws. I'm Slytherin by the way. Unfortunately, or so I usually think." [/color]

“Yes, there does seem to be an oddly large Slytherin populace compared to the numbers in the other houses. The Sorting Hat put me in Slytherin for a few seconds, before changing its mind and changing me to a Ravenclaw. Apparently I was rather difficult to place. It is a shame your house has that reputation, undeserved in my view when it is because of the actions of a few students at least twenty years ago.” Then again, he viewed torture as a satisfactory method to get what he wanted, so perhaps he was not the best judge of an undeserved reputation.

"No no, there was no set meeting. I just thought you might be someone else. A girl I've met up here before. A friend. I likewise had not expected any other to be up here at this hour, which is why I assumed you to be her." [/color]

Amazingly, a small smile reached Kerridon’s lips when he heard what Zane was saying and, more specifically, when he saw the grin etched on his companions’ face.

“You have a habit of meeting friends on the Astronomy Tower in the early hours of the morning?” he questioned in a dry voice. “Would this... friend... be Wysteria Edwin by any chance? I saw you with her at the masquerade.”

He had been trained to pick out subtleties and half-truths, and even in his current mood he noticed them. If he was right and this boy really did have feelings for Wysteria, and, more importantly, the feelings were mutual, then that could be of great advantage to his side of the playing field. The Shadow Mage would need to be informed, or he could use the situation to his advantage like he had with Quin wanting to protect Heno, her pet pine marten, in the library.

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

Both of Zee's eyebrows raised slightly at Kerridon's explanation of the fickle behavior of the sorting hat. It was remarkably similar to Zee's own experience. He kept this to himself as he waited patiently for Kerridon to finish speaking, and when that time came Zee's eyebrows raised slightly further as his expression took on a very slight (and thus quite convincing) look of surprise.

"Wysteria? She is a beautiful creature isn't she? I suppose it is no great secret that I somewhat fancy her. I did after all veritably broadcast it to all in the school lobby when I asked her to the Masque. She however . . . well, suffice it to say she seems rather proud of her own ambivalence. I begin to doubt whether I will ever be able to stir her heart."

Zee shrugged noncommittally, but his expression went from slight resignation to a mischievous grin.

"Fortunately I have plenty of other . . . friends."

Perhaps the words would hurt Wysteria if they ever reached her ears, but they were by no means an accurate description of his thoughts on her. Indeed they tasted rather sour in Zee's mouth but he felt the misdirection prudent. The boy had revealed too much in saying that the hat had originally placed him in Slytherin, for Zee understood quite well that the reputation of that house was indeed well deserved. Perhaps this Ravenclaw was harmless, but if he were anything like Zee it would be best not to lay out all of Zee's knowledge before him. Zee had carefully avoided either confirming or denying whether his desired company had been Wysteria. Kerridon could think and suspect what he wished but Zee was supremely confident in his ability to lie convincingly and the boy would get no confirmation from his words or tone.

"So the hat had trouble with you, hmm? Odd since it could come to no absolute decision about me as well. In the end it offered me the choice of Ravenclaw or Slytherin. Sadly I knew little of the school at the time and nothing of the houses. I chose Slytherin. I've somewhat regretted the decision since but I suppose it's not the worst mistake I could've made. Perhaps we're kindred spirits."

Zee's smirk showed he put little stock in the concept of "kindred spirits."

"Or perhaps the hat is just too accustomed to sorting eleven year olds and has trouble with 6th years."

[Kerridon Paradox]

Kerridon was very impressed by Zane’s talent of avoiding the question. He seemed to have a lot of experience in that, judging by the confidence in his companion’s tone. He left it for now, but made a mental note to investigate the relationship between Zane Bishop and Wysteria Edwin at some point.

"So the hat had trouble with you, hmm? Odd since it could come to no absolute decision about me as well. In the end it offered me the choice of Ravenclaw or Slytherin. Sadly I knew little of the school at the time and nothing of the houses. I chose Slytherin. I've somewhat regretted the decision since but I suppose it's not the worst mistake I could've made. Perhaps we're kindred spirits. Or perhaps the hat is just too accustomed to sorting eleven year olds and has trouble with 6th years." [/color]

Personally, Kerridon agreed with Zee’s assessment of ‘kindred spirits’, although he didn’t state this out loud. He didn’t really put much stock in anything that involved another human being. The more people involved, the more likely that one of them would let you down. The same thoughts applied to what he thought of Zee liking Wysteria. All that knowing his sister too well had resulted in was this constant pain in the back of his mind. Getting attached to another could only end in hurt.

“Yes, maybe 16-year-olds’ personalities are sufficiently developed that they contain a mixture of the traits the Sorting Hat sorts us by. Do you know any other students who were sorted after their first year whom the Sorting Hat had trouble with?”

Kerridon hadn’t actually met all that many of the students since joining earlier in the year, due to the sheer amount of time and effort he was putting into his research. The only person he had really gotten to know was D’rorah, although he had managed to invade Keaira’s mind at the ball and was fairly sure that she and Alessandro were lightfighters. When his mistress asked for her next report he would have something to tell her. Maybe not as much as she’d like, but something.

“You did not join Hogwarts until this year either?” he asked Zee. “Any reason why?”

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

A thoughtful expression crossed Zee's features at Kerridon's question about other students who'd had similar experiences as they had. Zee could not think of any who had expressed as much to him. Moving past this, Zee went ahead with the second question.

"Indeed. I've not even been here since the beginning of the year. I began attending only a few weeks before Halloween. I am sorry to say that my life up til now would make a rather dull story. The only child of some pureblood fanatics. Almost the quintessential Slytherin by birth as both my parents came from ancient and wealthy wizarding families. They thought it best to keep me away from the "dirty blooded scoundrels" that supposedly swarm all over the school and so I've been homseschooled my entire life."

Zee shrugged as if slightly apologizing even though he had warned the boy that his story was boring. Again he ran over the conversations he'd had with all the other students since he'd arrived, but he had not been told anything concerning their sortings. Shrugging once again at his helplessness, Zee answered anyway.

"I know of no others who have been in a similar predicament as you and I. It's true though that as I've only been here slightly longer than yourself, I have not had many deep conversations with the locals. Perhaps some of them have, perhaps not. We could ask Mr. Bellefleur if he was immediately placed in Hufflepuff or not, but I don't imagine you're in any rush to speak with him again. I cannot think of any other senior students who have only recently transfered in."

[Kerridon Paradox]

Kerridon raised an eyebrow ever so slightly at Zee's explanation. It actually sounded quite similar to his own story. His father had not wanted he or his sister to become goody-goody-aurors like their mother, so had tutored them himself in the dark arts and in serving the Shadow Mage. The only reason he was at Hogwarts now was because Nellie, his godmother, wanted him to go, and (more importanly) the Shadow Mage wanted more spies.

"I know of no others who have been in a similar predicament as you and I. It's true though that as I've only been here slightly longer than yourself, I have not had many deep conversations with the locals. Perhaps some of them have, perhaps not. We could ask Mr. Bellefleur if he was immediately placed in Hufflepuff or not, but I don't imagine you're in any rush to speak with him again. I cannot think of any other senior students who have only recently transfered in."

Kerridon allowed a small sneer to wash briefly across his face at the mention of the French exchange student.

"You heard our... exchange, then, in class?" he questioned, curious to know what other people had thought of the situation. "Perhaps you could discuss the matter with him. He does not have any grudgy against you, does he? I also believe that another Slytherin named Tawny transferred this year, although I have not seen her for a while. D'rorah also transferred from New York but I think that was quite a while ago. I shall ask the next time I see her."

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

A wry smirk came over Zee's face. He had been rather amused by Sebastien's response to Kerridon's unasked for assistance. There was no reason to let the Ravenclaw know as much however. Zee also saw no need to confess his own ignorance of what the foreign words had actually meant.

"I think there are few of the older students who did not hear your exchange. I've not heard any others' opinions on the matter, but as for myself, I thought he rather overreacted to your attempted clarification, as did Choi. It is for that reason however that, cynical an attitude as it may be, I believe in being harmless rather than helpful. Noble intentions are all well and good, but when reactions like what you received from the Hufflepuff are not uncommon, it seems to not be the best expenditure of your energy."

Zee shrugged as if it didn't matter, which indeed it didn't. Not to him anyway. Amusing as the small tension between the two students had been, it was ultimately irrelevant.

"But don't worry about one foolish student whose pride wouldn't allow him to accept aid. If you wish I could suggest to him that you meant nothing disrespectful. He holds nothing against me except perhaps that I'm Slytherin."

Another shrug. Zee had come to accept, even expect some level of distaste or mistrust from the other students based upon his house. It was an inconvenience but Zee took no offense. They were, after all, right about him. The mention of Tawny brought a smile to Zee's face much as talk of Wysteria had, though it was a very different smile. Where thoughts of Wyst had evoked a rather silly "puppy love" sort of grin, Zee now wore a wicked smirk of pure lust. It was there and then gone however. Whereas before Zee would have been quite torn between the two, his affection for Wysteria had grown far more powerful than any desire he'd had for Tawny.

"Yes, Miss Fallon and I are . . . acquainted. Miss Philosophy has, I believe, been here since the start of term. The both of them are . . . interesting specimens. I believe they both fit quite perfectly into the molds of their respective houses."

[Kerridon Paradox]

((Sorry for the wait - I did this in my free at school today!))

“Yes, I do see your point. Although we have agreed that houses are not the be-all and end-all of someone’s personality, Hufflepuffs are supposed to be the kind and considerate ones, are they not? It makes you wonder at what the rest of the school is like. And trust me, I was not worrying,” Kerridon assured Zee, pausing for a moment to ponder on the irony of telling someone to “trust” him. He was likely one of the least trustworthy students in the school, although he would not be arrogant enough to think he was the most untrustworthy. For all he knew, this boy in front of him should be trusted even less.

He immediately noticed the change in Zane’s demeanour at the mention of Tawny. Kerridon understood why, but did not share the sentiment. Going back to his previous thoughts, getting attached to another could only lead to hurt. That had been proved to him again and again.

"Yes, Miss Fallon and I are . . . acquainted. Miss Philosophy has, I believe, been here since the start of term. The both of them are . . . interesting specimens. I believe they both fit quite perfectly into the molds of their respective houses." [/color]

“Yes, I would have to agree with you on this matter. I cannot think of any other students who are new to the school in our age range.”

Kerridon turned again to view the scenery out of the window, looking particularly in the direction of the forest. Several thoughts flashed across his mind before he continued speaking.

“What do you think of the rumours regarding the forest?” he asked slowly, his back still facing the Slytherin. Turning to look at him, he wiped the wry grin off his face. Rumours? As if.

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

Zee hadn't been paying close attention to where Kerridon was looking, but when the other boy mentioned the forest a little alarm went off in Zee's head. ". . . talking openly about this nights events is not an intelligent thing to do . . . there are people who would torture or kill you to keep it quiet . . ." Those were the words Keaira left him with after their initial meeting in those very woods. Zee had not heeded the words when he'd mentioned the encounter to D'rorah, and a part of him wished to ignore them again now. If Kerridon were interested in the forest then he would surely be impressed to hear Zee's tale.

But if Kerridon were interested in the forest then it may not be wise to allow him to hear Zee's tale. So instead Zee merely shrugged and looked mostly disinterested, glancing out the window but then turning his attention to the sky as if the forest bored him.

"As I understand it there have always been dangerous creatures in that forest. That's why it's called the Forbidden Forest. If the danger is somewhat more severe now then that's just all the more reason for me to avoid the area. Should the rare craving for nature strike there are plenty of trees about the grounds. And there's always the lake. Why? Have you heard anything beyond the vague allusions to dark creatures and certain doom that could just as well be some 6th or 7th year's attempt at scaring the younger students?"

Zee didn't shift his focus to the Ravenclaw as he waited for a response. His eyes remained on the stars, furthering his facade of disinterest.

[Kerridon Paradox]

To his disappointment, Zee did not reply with anything of interest, although his pause had suggested that he did know somethng of interest.

"As I understand it there have always been dangerous creatures in that forest. That's why it's called the Forbidden Forest. If the danger is somewhat more severe now then that's just all the more reason for me to avoid the area. Should the rare craving for nature strike there are plenty of trees about the grounds. And there's always the lake. Why? Have you heard anything beyond the vague allusions to dark creatures and certain doom that could just as well be some 6th or 7th year's attempt at scaring the younger students?"

"D'rorah does not seem the type to try to scare younger students," Kerridon replied gravely and slightly coldly. Now he had to decide what to tell the apparently ignorant boy. He'd already discussed the forest with D'rorah so he didn't have to worry about giving away his position as a spy. Anyone with enough knowledge and common sense could work out that the rumours were not just stories. "Dementors and other, worse creatures, have taken residence in our forest. Did you think that there was no reason for the curfew to be in place? The Headmistress would not put such a thing in place if she was not gravely worried for her students' safety. It sends the message to parents that Hogwarts is not a safe place any more. Anyone with the slightest logic would realise that something was going on besides rumour-mongering."

Kerridon paused, then realised he may have just risked a friendship with a possible lightfighter, if that pause had any significance. He simply had no patience with those who couldn't see logic and had gotten carried away.

"I apologise, I did not intend to sound harsh. I was simply warning you of the very real dangers surrounding us."

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

You accuse me of no logic!!?? ME!!?? I should disarm you and cast you from the tower right now you ignorant fool!

While his anger flared and his pride irked at his forced veneer of ignorance, Zee merely smirked and shrugged once more, even letting out a light chuckle. Still he didn't even turn his face toward the other boy.

"My but you seem to feel quite strongly about the situation. I don't recall claiming a belief that the rumors were just that and nothing more. My point remains however that the Forbidden Forest has always been a dangerous place where students were not meant to wander. So it is more dangerous now. I don't see how that changes what should be done about it. Avoid the forest and what cause for concern do you have?"

Finally Zee looked at Kerridon. The mirth had gone from the Slytherin's face and tone, and instead he himself spoke rather crisply.

"As for the school no longer being a safe place, if you read up on the history you would find that Hogwarts has never truly been a safe place. Somewhere so full of power and secrets never could be safe. The world, in point of fact, is not a safe place. Forgive me if I do not cower when that truth comes calling."

Zee took a breath and shrugged once more. He seemed to do that alot when he was being less than honest, which was almost always.

"But I do appreciate your concern for my well-being. You Ravenclaws are quite the noble lot. Miss Philosophy also warned me of the current dangers about the grounds. You've mentioned her twice now. What, may I ask, is your great interest in her?"

[Kerridon Paradox]

Kerridon listened with dismay to Zane's retorts.

"You may not have directly said it, but I believed you had implied that the rumours were just that. Forgive me if I was wrong on that fact. And as their numbers grow who knows if they will stay in the forest?"

He considered mentioning the unusual gathering in the forest of the shadows and dementors he had seen last week while walking with D'rorah on her prefect rounds. Then he realised that if he kept going about warning students about the dangers of the forest then he was effectively depriving the foul ceatures of their prey. His mistress would not be very pleased if she found out, and it might even increase the chance of their emerging from the hiding place. That was something he dreaded nearly as much as the Mage's displeasure - he wanted those things to stay away from him as much as possible.

"As for the school no longer being a safe place, if you read up on the history you would find that Hogwarts has never truly been a safe place. Somewhere so full of power and secrets never could be safe. The world, in point of fact, is not a safe place. Forgive me if I do not cower when that truth comes calling."

"I admit it is true that Hogwarts has never truly been safe, but you will notice that whenever the danger becomes great parents will take their children away from the school. Take, for example, when Voldemort was in power. The point I was trying to make was that the Headmistress would surely not wish to decrease the number of students here by taking unnecessary precautions."

"But I do appreciate your concern for my well-being. You Ravenclaws are quite the noble lot. D'rorah also warned me of the current dangers about the grounds. You've mentioned her twice now. What, may I ask, is your great interest in her?"

"Is it not the Gryffindors who are supposed to be the noble ones? But of course, I am stereotyping again based on houses. It seems to be a hard habit to break." Kerridon immediately became wary at the mention of his 'interest' in D'rorah, but kept his face neutral. Had anyone else noticed? He must be more careful in what he said and how he acted around others. "A great interest? Like I said, I have not had the opportunity to meet many other students, having been busy with my studies. However, I have met D'rorah several times whilst researching in the library, so I know her better than most students in this school - which doesn't actually say much. Although I believe we are agreed about the concept of kindred spirits, she has very similar interests to me so we get on well."

((Haha, they're arguing already ))