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Post by D'rorah Philosophy on Jul 18, 2009 12:12:44 GMT -5
D'rorah stared silently for a long time. The thoughts in her head were racing so that she couldn't even think of them all properly. She couldn't think of anything to say... which was somewhat odd, given that Dylan had always been so easy to talk to before. But then, they were typically words exchanged in between embraces or mixed with smiles over whatever texts the happened to be working with at the moment. It seemed now there would be no more of those moments... even as she watched, the images of his rage and hatred lingered in her mind. She couldn't dispel them no matter how firmly she pushed them away. It wasn't fair, really, that everything had ended so quickly and on such awful terms. She had never pictured this possibility... that Dylan would be alive, and actively seeking her... and she would be the one refusing.
Of course, she hadn't technically refused yet. She hadn't figured out what to do, exactly. But she kept coming back to the fact that she had come to love Kerridon in the time they had been together... and she couldn't find the love she had once had for Dylan in her own heart anymore. She wanted to. She wanted to be able to stand by the commitment she had made to him at the Valentine's dance. But whether it was really gone, or the wounds from his attacks just were still too fresh, the fact was that it simply wasn't there.
[blue]"It is odd,"[/blue] she remarked finally, breaking the silence. [blue]"When I was younger, I never would have imagined anything like this happening to me. My father teased occasionally that I was too stubborn to endure the foolishness of young men,"[/blue] she smirked slightly. [blue]"He was right. I am unbelievably stubborn sometimes..."[/blue] She shook her head slightly, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on top of her knees. [blue]"Do you think..."[/blue] she trailed off, her brow furrowing slightly as she thought through the statement. [blue]"Well, I suppose I mean to ask... would it be fair to you if we were friends? You do mean a great deal to me. I would not wish to have you out of my life completely..."[/blue] she rolled her lower lip in and bit it lightly as she thought. [blue]"I mean. I. Well, you were my first real friend at Hogwarts. I just... well, I want you to be happy as well. I know you want things to return to how they were before, but I simply cannot see myself in that place again. I am not entirely certain what has changed within me, but I do know that I do not feel the same now..."[/blue] she trailed off apologetically, her eyes lowering as she spoke. After a moment she lifted them again. [blue]"I am so sorry for the way things are working out,"[/blue] she remarked, feeling her voice crack slightly. [blue]"I do not wish to give you false hope... but I could certainly be friends. Anything more than that, however..."[/blue]
She lapsed into silence, hugging her knees more tightly to herself.
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Post by Dylan Cooper on Jul 24, 2009 18:32:33 GMT -5
After a while of sitting in silence, gazing at the surrounding room and at D'rorah herself, she finally spoke once more. His ears perking up in order to listen, he turned his attention from the willow tree in front of which she was seated and looked instead directly at her. Confused for a moment as to what she might be referring to with her first, short statement, he did not reveal it on his features, and simply waited for her to elaborate. Thankfully, she did so, because otherwise he would have remained quite at a loss as to what she was talking about.
He remained silent as she spoke, not even moving a muscle, let alone forming words of his own. Forming a small smile as she smirked, recalling her father, he wondered briefly where this was headed. He was completely clueless, and that made him slightly nervous still. She came to rest her chin on top of her knees, her arms enfolding them, as she continued. Trailing off briefly, Dylan's smile faded as he waited for whatever thought she had to surface, for her brow was furrowed. He expected something perhaps along the lines of 'Do you think we would still be happy if this had never happened?' or 'Do you think I'm doing a good job leading the Lightfighters?'. What he did not expect, was what emerged.
His throat sticking up completely and a rather large knot forming, making words impossible for just a moment, his eyes lowered to the ground. He opened his mouth slightly, though such a movement was useless; no sound was produced, and he closed it once more. Dylan finally found the strength to swallow, though the process was nevertheless painful. His jaw clenched slightly, though not in anger, as his eyes searched the ground for an answer to her question. He supposed that, after everything, it was entirely foolish to have ever thought she could go back to how things had been. He knew he could, but they were both seated on entirely different sides of that stupid little imaginary fence.
Raising his eyes to her as he cleared his throat quietly, attempting to remove the lump there, he offered a small, perhaps weak smile. It wasn't very convincing, but it was better than nothing, and simply all he could produce right now. "Of course, yeah. That'd be great," he replied quietly. His expression, however weak, fell as she expressed that she was sorry for the way things seemed to be turning out, and he did notice that her voice had started to crack slightly as she said it. "No, don't be sorry. I understand," he replied, still quietly, and almost wishing he simply didn't understand.
He dwelled perhaps a bit too much on her final comment, his eyes finding the grass beneath him once again and that annoying lump reforming. False hope... well, he seemed to have been made of that all of last night and this morning, and even before that. All along he had been supporting himself on an unrealistic pretence, and it was doing him no good whatsoever now. He remained where he sat, sure that if he left his body would consider himself free to express his true feelings on the matter, an incident he wanted to avoid greatly.
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Post by D'rorah Philosophy on Jul 24, 2009 22:28:36 GMT -5
D'rorah saw the movement out of the corner of her eye as Dylan's mouth opened, and expected him to speak. Unfortunately, he closed it again she could have sworn she actually heard him swallow. Perhaps that was just a figment of her imagination, however. She raised her eyes to regard him, watching as his own eyes searched the ground. Immediately, she felt foolish. This was too soon for him... though she had been able to begin the arduous process of coming to terms with the end of their relationship months ago, he had only recently regained his normal sensibilities.
The smile he finally offered as he raised his eyes was wholly unconvincing, but she appreciated that he went to all the trouble of offering it to her. She knew it couldn't be easy for him to conjure a smile at the moment, given the situation... but he was trying to make her feel better about everything that was happening. She smiled back as he answered in the affirmative, though he own smile was rather sad itself. His next statement was yet another act of kindness from him in what was turning out to be a very odd and difficult day for her, indeed. As his eyes returned to the grass she wondered what he was really thinking and feeling. Of course, it would be easy enough to find out, but as always she knew it wouldn't be fair at all.
Wanting to offer some gesture of comfort, unable to bear the thought of the pain he was so obviously experiencing as a result of everything that had happened between him and what she had just said, she loosed her arms from around her knees and leaned over, wrapping her arms around him to hug him tightly, her head resting at the bend where his neck met his shoulder. Two tears slipped down her face without a sound, one from the corner of each eye. [blue]"Thank you,"[/blue] she murmured, feeling the wind grow rather more blustery as it attempted to soothe the tempest of her own emotions. [blue]"Thank you for trying to make this all easier on me. I know it is difficult... and I know it must be frustrating to have to wait for an answer..."[/blue] her voice trailed off as her arms tightened around him and she suddenly recalled so many times when this simple gesture had been exchanged between them.
[blue]"How far and strange a journey we have both traveled from that first awkward kiss in the astronomy tower,"[/blue] she half laughed, but her voice caught in her throat and so the short burst that started out as a weak laugh ended as a sob. [blue]"I really did miss you so much while you were gone... every moment was agonizing."[/blue] She swallowed, forcing herself to shut up before she blubbered on and started herself crying again. Why was there so much crying? She couldn't remember ever crying this much before... but then, Dylan had always tugged at her emotions... and his distress paired with her own was not an easy thing to withstand. After a moment, she pulled back, leaning her back against the trunk and her head against his shoulder as she looked out over grass that swayed in a continuous gentle breeze. She needed to find something to talk about that would take her mind from this very emotional topic, anything that would feel at least a bit normal between them. [blue]"I have found your new..."[/blue] The thought was already formed and halfway out of her mouth before she thought better of it, and it was already too late to stop. [blue]"...Shadow Warrior,"[/blue] she finished quietly. She knew that Dylan and Susan had been friends. It would be hard not to be friends with someone when you shared the sort of bond an Elemental Master shared with a Shadow Warrior. [blue]"Susan has already returned to the school from her medical leave of absence... but she passed her abilities on and they have taken up residence in another Ravenclaw student... Niobe Blakes."[/blue]
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Post by Dylan Cooper on Jul 25, 2009 17:41:22 GMT -5
His eye particularly captivated by a particularly tall swaying blade of grass, he was lost in thought for a moment or two before being jolted back to reality. Her arms had moved around him into what was undoubtedly a hug. Confused for a moment, considering her reaction to his attempt at a hug earlier, he enjoyed it nevertheless, contented with the action. Wrapping his arms around her torso, he returned the movement and it felt almost like old times with her head resting on near his shoulder. Feeling a slightly annoying bit of nostalgia, since things obviously weren't that way any longer, he decided that perhaps it wasn't so bad to feel that way; maybe it would help him fight for her, even if right now she wasn't wholly receptive to that idea.
Failing to feel the two small drops colliding with his shirt, he fought for a small smile as she thanked him. It was gone quickly, however, to be replaced by an expression that indicated perhaps the seriousness of the situation for him. They could be friends, he was sure, but to what degree? Being so close to her and seeing her with Kerridon at the same time... He wasn't entirely sure how that would make him feel. Well, he had a very good idea, but there was a possibility he would feel differently when actually shoved into that situation. He couldn't imagine his life without her, romantically or not, so he would take whatever she would give of course. He didn't imagine that knowledge, however, would secure him emotionally if things between them never got back to anything even remotely resembling their old relationship. Whether Kerridon was still involved or she was simply without a partner, it would be hard; the former would simply make him dislike Kerridon more, he suspected.
Feeling entirely confused where the older Ravenclaw was concerned, he tightened the hug around D'rorah slightly. He realised that if Kerridon had not been there when he had, Dee might have lost herself, and might not even be here to share this hug with him today. He didn't for a moment wish to deny that fact, nor that he had comforted her when she had needed it most, something he had been unable to do in his condition. But he was also still the boy who was with D'rorah; that she seemed to love. The idea that she would love anyone but himself was heartbreaking, to say the least, and it didn't encourage particularly warm feelings where he was concerned.
As she mentioned their first kiss, he grinned slightly and heard her own reaction to that statement seemed somewhat mixed. The grin faded quickly and he rubbed his arm slowly across her back, attempting to try and soothe her. He could think of no words of comfort to offer; he always had been rather lacking in that department, so he consented to simply continue rubbing her back softly. After a moment, however, she pulled back, resuming her former position once more. His serious eyes searched for hers as she changed topics and what she came out with changed them rapidly to express sadness. "Oh...okay," he replied, slightly dumbfounded. Niobe Blakes... he didn't think he'd ever met her, or heard of her for that matter. Already feeling slightly resentful toward the girl that had taken Susan's place, he knew that was unkind since he hadn't even met her. Still, he couldn't help feeling that way. He supposed that the less people he loved were involved in this war, the better, and Susan removing herself from it was nothing but good... Nevertheless, having the pre-disposition to dislike this new Shadow Warrior made him slightly nervous for the element of Earth. If they did not work well together, it could have seriously adverse effects.
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Post by D'rorah Philosophy on Jul 25, 2009 20:38:31 GMT -5
D'rorah could see from Dylan's reaction that he wasn't very happy with the idea of a new Shadow Warrior. His sadness was clear... and it only made sense given that it seemed he had lost so much in such a short amount of time lately. [blue]"She is a smart girl... very polite..."[/blue] D'rorah trailed off. It would likely take time for Dylan to become accustomed to the idea of being joined with anyone but Susan. They were close friends... truth be told, she remembered having moments of jealousy over the bond he and Susan shared back when they had first met. Why did that all seem like so long ago when it was really only a few months? She took a long, slow breath, settling her head against his shoulder as she watched the willow branches sway around them in the breeze.
[blue]"You know... I never imagined there could be so much for one to lose,"[/blue] she remarked thoughtfully. [blue]"I remember once... when I was much younger. Master Xiu told me I would have to be prepared for the possibility of losing everything. At the time, I did not understand what he meant. I assumed he merely intended to convery the danger inherent in our mission and that one could die."[/blue] She scoffed slightly, the rush of air forcing itself from between her teeth. [blue]"I was so young then... naive and inexperienced. I knew little of danger other than theoretical things like the Dark Arts and Unforgivable Curses. Even those things were strictly confined to academia. Training within the walls of the monastery was intense, and I took every moment of it seriously. I wanted to be the best. I wanted to be the protector of the world that Master Xiu insisted I was fated to be. Never for a moment did he allow me to rest and think I might have even begun to realize my potential. There were always things to improve... there were always new ways to learn to protect those around me. And still, despite all of those years of learning, it has not been enough."[/blue] She paused for a moment, swallowing a knot that had formed in her throat so she might be able to continue on. [blue]"In the monastery, there was no issue of teamwork. Everyone worked together. Everyone knew who everyone else was because we knew that at some point our lives might depend on one another... there was none of this pushing away and running off in fits of wild emotion. And Master Xiu was always there whenever we needed him to pull us together. I try to emulate him... but it does not seem to work. Everyone pulls further and further away... a few of us are beginning to come together now, but it is difficult to bring people together when all around there is death and heartbreak and loss waiting for an opportunity to turn their hearts away from the main cause."[/blue] She grasped a branch that swayed nearby her face and regarded it for a long moment, combing her fingers carefully through the leaves that danced in the breeze. [blue]"I believe the most difficult revelation for me in this war has been the fact that death is not the worst thing that might happen to a person."[/blue]
She turned her head to regard Dylan, loosing the branch. [blue]"It is difficult to find a balance... because I have had to realize the value of teamwork. But at the same time, I feel almost.... irresponsible for opening myself up to the sort of hurt that comes with allowing people in. The Lightfighters need a leader who is not distracted with her own emotional concerns. And though I try to push my emotions aside, I cannot help but feel they are important to achieving our goals... a Shadow Warrior who loses her hold on her emotions becomes corrupted, twisted, dark... lost to the service of the Mage. And so I begin to worry when I start to entertain the notion that I would be better off without emotions at all because I fear acceptance of that idea would be the first step to truly losing this war."[/blue]
She allowed herself to trail off for several long moments. [blue]"I feel much older than I truly am these days."[/blue] She fingered a lock of greyed hair and smirked slightly. [blue]"I suppose I look older than I am as well,"[/blue] she added. [blue]"A constant chill... the inability to enjoy sunlight because it so quickly becomes uncomfortable..."[/blue] she trailed off, turning her head to meet his eyes once again. [blue]"Guard your Shadow Warrior well. Keep her whole. No matter how difficult the change is, no one deserves this sort of strange half-life teetering on the precipice between normality and corruption."[/blue] She lowered her eyes and looked away, studying the horizon and a quiet stream in the distance. [blue]"After a while, one begins to feel... inhuman."[/blue]
Ready to shift the conversation... or rather, her monologue, away from the intensely personal path it had begun to travel down, she looked for anything else to talk about. Her face came up with a crooked smile as she recalled the Defense Against Dark Arts class a few days previous. [blue]"What did you think of your first confrontation with Mister Kelley the younger?"[/blue] A dry laugh erupted from her throat for a brief moment. [blue]"If his weapons and combat training are any indication, I believe he will be a passable Elemental Master of Water."[/blue] A scowl creased her forehead for a moment. [blue]"Even if he can be tediously argumentative at times."[/blue]
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Post by Dylan Cooper on Jul 31, 2009 22:42:43 GMT -5
Nodding in response to her added comments concerning the newly-discovered Shadow Warrior of his element, he failed to reply with spoken words. He raised his eyes from the ground beneath and to her as she continued, feeling slightly sad that she had indeed seemed to have lost so much; that she had cause for such a comment. Unsure exactly what to make of her initial recollection, he remained quiet, allowing her to speak unfalteringly. A small crease formed at his brow when she paused, stating that all of her work had not been enough, and he thought that if she hadn't been exactly who she is, they wouldn't even have the knowledge they did; and in a war like this, knowledge was power. True, the Lightfighters were not exactly a perfect team, and he wasn't sure that everyone included in that group ever could be, but they had to try. What other choice was there? To allow themselves to be killed off or captured, one by one. Dark Phoenix was cunning enough that she already had a large advantage over them, but their own advantages were being squandered by the somewhat immature or unrealising actions of most involved.
He knew that he himself had not been the example of perfection on that account; he put his personal feelings ahead of the cause of the war, sometimes, but he was indeed working on that. He was training harder than ever, despite being slightly distracted over the last few days. But he knew that there was every possibility that some of them, most of them, would not even know what they are if it weren't for D'rorah and all the work she had put in. And despite certain failings, such as various disappearances or transferral of powers, they were still here. He didn't know how long that would last, because clearly the Shadow Mage was putting a few things into effect, namely himself, but he would do his best to help keep any active war in the far future, if at all.
She turned to regard him and continued, before trailing off for a few moments and beginning once more. Returning her small smirk with a brief smile as she toyed with a lock of grey hair, he returned her expression seriously as she urged him to guard Niobe. After a moment however, her gaze strayed to the horizon and Dylan was left to consider that statement in its intirety. As she re-focused on him with a smile, albeit a slightly crooked smile, his eyes widened slightly. "Sam's the Master of Water?" he questioned, clearly repeating what she had just said, although in a slightly different form. Obviously, this meant that he was Caitlin's Elemental Master, and feeling slightly protective of the older Hufflepuff he was automatically wary of the other Kelley. He had no reason to be really, but he did recall the fact that he had jinxed D'rorah with apparently no reasoning in front of the entire class; it did at least seem that they were acquainted with one another, so perhaps it had not been completely random. That didn't really mean he liked him any more, however.
He did not pass any comment on that topic for now, thinking that he'd be best to keep his current thoughts to himself; he would not pass judgement until he really got to know the Gryffindor and now fellow Lightfighter. Thinking perhaps they should have some kind of collaborative meeting with each other, all of the Masters, Warriors and allies together, to form more of a joint feeling with one another. At the moment he only knew most of them by sight, and he didn't think that was the best relationship to have when they were supposed to be fighting a war together. "Maybe we should have everyone meet? Properly, you know... and so that everyone knows where they stand, what they could be doing?" he suggested lightly, straying away from D'rorah's earlier topic.
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Post by D'rorah Philosophy on Aug 1, 2009 0:31:20 GMT -5
D'rorah nodded slightly at Dylan's incredulous query about Sam being the Elemental Master of Water. [blue]"The discovery was rather unexpected,"[/blue] she replied, thinking of how Sam had initially approached her only because he was concerned for his brother, who happened to be her own Elemental Master. She'd had no way of realizing at the time that he would turn out to be the newest Elemental Master of Water. But then, perhaps that was for the best. Certainly, it did no good to wish for the past to change anyway. [blue]He seems dedicated to filling his role well. We had been training for quite some time before he was discovered... he was adamant about becoming a Lightfighter so that he might protect his older brother."[/blue] Her lip quirked slightly. [blue]"I suppose that wish was granted more fully than he might ever have wanted,"[/blue] she finished dryly. [blue]"I must say, I was quite confused when you retaliated on my behalf in class the other day. I rather wish I might have hexed him myself... but I am certain I can find a way to repay him in kind during our morning training."[/blue]
Though the younger Gryffindor sometimes annoyed her, she had to admit that she appreciated the way he approached his duties. He was seriously dedicated to training. And, for all of his tendency to act brashly, he was good at receiving and following instruction when it came right down to it.
She looked toward Dylan again as he spoke about a meeting of the Lightfighters and took a deep breath, feeling her shoulders rise and fall visibly with the intake and exhale. [blue]"Yes, we would certainly do well to all meet again,"[/blue] she replied thoughtfully. [blue]"I had been considering it for quite some time; however..."[/blue] she trailed off, realizing she had been about to say that she hadn't wanted to intentionally place herself in a room with Dylan for any extended period of time lately. [blue]"It is difficult to find everyone at the same time,"[/blue] she finished instead. [blue]"But certainly, a meeting should happen very soon. We have new people to introduce... and there is always so much planning to do."[/blue] She shifted back slightly. [blue]"Actually, I believe we should all be training together. I am in the Room of Requirement every morning with Mister Kelley anyway, it seems logical to have the rest of the Lightfighters join in. There is so much that I need to teach you all..."[/blue]
[blue]"Of course, the difficulty is that having everyone meet here regularly for training would be more likely to draw unwanted attention. Until Master Xiu acceeds to my wish to bring ourselves into the open, secrecy is absolutely imperative. Certainly, it affords us the small advantage of the possibility of surprising our enemy."[/blue] They could use every advantage they could get these days. With Caira in control of the school, they were forced to sneak around and hide. And the increasing presence of people from the Ministry was troubling as well... D'rorah wasn't eager to repeat her experience of a few months ago in the Department of Mysteries.
She wrapped her arms around her knees and hugged them to herself again as she shivered. [blue]"How are you catching up with your school work?"[/blue] she asked off-hand, trying to think of something to talk about so that she might avoid any awkward silence between them. While it hadn't been more than a few months ago that they would have easily enjoyed silence and a quiet contemplation of the day together, now she felt as though there needed to be something in the air between them, something to link them together after so much had happened to force them apart.
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Post by Dylan Cooper on Aug 1, 2009 1:04:10 GMT -5
Perhaps secretly expecting a comment of thanks regarding his actions of retaliation in their last Defence Against the Dark Arts class, he was to be found wanting. He assumed it was silly for her to even consider such a thing; it was probably far from her mind, in fact, and it was just more evidence that he was expecting things to remain how they had been, which of course was quite out of the question. Moving on quickly as she replied, expressing her own views on the idea of a general meeting of their allies, he nodded along quietly.
"I'm sure everyone could do with some more training, yes, but like you said, I think the biggest problem is getting everyone together all at once. I suppose a majority would do, and we can fill the others in later? I know Zane has left the school altogether, apparently, but everyone else should come shouldn't they?" he questioned quietly. "It's not like anything else could be more important than this," he added, wondering if the others realised that fully. He was sure they did, but still he was uneasy. If there was tension between any of them, and he was sure he had heard that Keaira was not entirely getting on with Dee, it could only be detrimental.
"I suppose making it a regular thing wouldn't work, Caira's too observant. But if we trained in groups, at least, and on different days every week?" he suggested lightly, not really sure what to do and simply throwing ideas about. He noticed as he said it that her hands wrapped themselves around her knees and she looked slightly chilled; he imagined the almost incessant wind within this room could become quite cold at times.
As she queried him on his school work, he looked thoughtful for a moment. "It's not too bad... The worst of it's over, anyway. My first few weeks back were dreadful. I'm more-or-less back on course now, though," he responded quietly, remembering with a shiver the enormous amount of work he had gone through after missing a month or two of classes, assignments and reading. If he didn't have the talent required for Ravenclaw, he was sure he wouldn't even be halfway through that workload yet; the fact that he was still having to go to classes daily and do all of his current assignments hadn't been helpful either. It wasn't like he had been allowed to spend one solid week just catching up. Unsure what else he could add or say, he remained silent thereafter.
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Post by D'rorah Philosophy on Aug 1, 2009 3:39:45 GMT -5
[blue]"Yes, it would certainly be my preference to have everyone in attendance,"[/blue] she confirmed, nodding in response to Dylan's question. She smiled sadly as he stated that nothing else could be more important than this. [blue]"And that is the very difficult truth that so many seem unwilling to acknowledge,"[/blue] she replied quietly. [blue]"If only I could make them understand... no matter the pain any of us have experienced thus far, it will be worse if the balance is lost forever and Yang is allowed to re-enter our realm. The misery that would result is beyond anything any of us could fathom."[/blue] She felt Dylan would understand the statement. Others in their group, she knew, would hear it and think she was underestimating the things they had experienced... or was insensitive to their pain.
The truth was far from that. She could fully appreciate the struggles of her comrades... even if she wasn't always adept at indicating so to them. Like all other human beings, she had her own shortcomings to work through. [blue]"Perhaps Mister Bishop will even return soon. Though I cannot see precisely what it is that he is doing, he is in pain as all of you are. And he is reacting to it as he thinks necessary."[/blue] She left the matter there, knowing Dylan didn't hold any particular love for Zane after having been tortured by him. There was no need delving too deeply into that. She supposed she would have a very difficult time herself feeling compassion for someone who had tortured her. She had felt a certain amount of relief and a sense of justice to learn of Gat's death for much the same reason.
They were already on to the issue of training, and she turned her attention there gratefully, happy to have something to distract her away from thoughts of Gat Soldier and memories of having been tortured by him in the Shadow Realm. [blue]"I am certain we will visit the matter at length when next everyone meets. Perhaps we will find an acceptable solution at that time,"[/blue] she replied thoughtfully.
She nodded quietly as Dylan he was more or less back on track with his school work. [blue]"It is fortunate you are as intelligent as you are. A lesser student, no doubt, would have been unable to recover from such a long absence."[/blue] She always worked ahead in her classes... somewhere in her mind expecting that one day she might find herself once again carried off from the school. But working ahead was a form of optimism for her... optimism that, even if something tragic were to happen that took her from the school, she would return eventually. Of course, it was also just as much a symptom of the workaholic tendencies she had inherited from her father. She was forever piling her own "inbox" with things to do, preferring the pressure of feeling there was so much to be done. In this war, things piled themselves up for her, so she'd been able to ease up on the habit, but it was certainly still there.
She shifted around, turning so that she was facing Dylan, watching his eyes for several long minutes quietly. She didn't shift around uncomfortably or allow her eyes to wander. This meeting had allowed her to find some peace within herself for the time being... and had done a good deal towards making her feel comfortable around Dylan again. She had lost the fear that had grown during the time when he had acted under the influence of the potion... though the memories still lingered, they had faded to a more quiet timbre in her mind. She was beginning to feel as though she had her best friend back... certainly, Dylan had always been her closest friend at Hogwarts. And she felt for some reason in the past hour or so as though their relationship had matured. Certainly it had grown in a different direction that it had been headed before his disappearance, but this friendship still felt far more profound than an ordinary friendship.
[blue]"I worry about your pain,"[/blue] she remarked quietly, though not hesitantly. [blue]"I hope you will allow yourself to heal from the damage the potion caused, and not feel responsible for everything that has happened between us in the past months. Now that you are here again, I feel..."[/blue] she paused, trying to think of a word that described exactly what it was that she felt, [blue]"...I feel whole again,"[/blue] she decided finally. [blue]"For all those months, it was as though I was missing a piece of myself, even after you returned. And finally, I feel as though I am all here again."[/blue] She smiled and tilted her head slightly to the side. [blue]"Talking with you today has calmed me... and it has helped more than you will probably ever be able to realise."[/blue] She paused, the corners of her lips lifting ever so slightly higher. [blue]"Thank you."[/blue] And though she had intended to stop speaking there, she found herself compelled to continue. [blue]"This is the first time in this whole war that I have had a chance to calmly think out everything that is happening. And I began to wonder if perhaps my approach from the beginning has been wrong. I have focused so much on fighting... I was trained to fight, to struggle, to push violently against the injustices of this Darkness. It is the way I have been conditioned to react, but I believe I am beginning to realize that I need a modified approach."[/blue] She smirked and shook her head. [blue]"I do not sound reasonable at the moment, do I? But what I mean to say is... perhaps I focus so much on the fighting, on wanting our justice to triumph over the darkness, that I often lose sight of the real objective, which is the protection of the inhabitants of this realm."[/blue] She inhaled slowly and furrowed her brow slightly. [blue]"While I am certain violence will be necessary, perhaps I am wrong to have it so often be the center of my focus. All this talk of training..."[/blue] she trailed off, feeling slightly confused. She was coming around to some sort of revelation, but wasn't entirely certain what it was. She was still trying to wrap her head around it when a mote of light danced briefly but noticeably through the air before her before shimmering out of sight. Her eyes focused on the spot where it had been for several seconds before returning to Dylan's eyes. [blue]"Did you see that as well?"[/blue] she asked, wondering if her eyes had somehow deceived her.
((ooc: Yes, I'm expecting Dylan would have seen it too. Hehe))
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Post by Dylan Cooper on Aug 1, 2009 5:30:57 GMT -5
Casting a light smile in her direction, it faded quickly, her response to his initial statement leaving a lot to be desired. She was bound to be right of course; if she said that not everyone believed in the paramount importance of this war, then she would be the one to know about it. He wished that wasn't true, because it made life so much easier for those who chose to ignore or disbelieve that fact, and so much harder for the likes of them, but he knew that logically it was indeed far from false. He nodded silently, his eyes searching the unanswering ground for some kind of solution to their problems.
Making no signal or response as she elaborated on her thoughts about Zane Bishop and the pain he was in, he felt it was indeed best to just ignore every part of that conversation altogether. He knew it wasn't very mature, but he needed to be civil regarding the Slytherin and that was the only way how at this point, especially when everything else was going so wrong in his life. The one thing that did seem to be improving, thankfully, was his newly-rekindled relationship with D'rorah. She was talking with him as if the past few months were long gone, and though he knew they were not, he was relieved beyond belief that she was actually still talking to him; still able to talk to him.
Not being a particularly boastful person, he skimmed over her comment that he was intelligent; she had not meant it as a compliment anyway, he was sure. It was merely like stating a fact. He was rather intelligent, afterall, for his age, but most in the house of Ravenclaw were. A past Dylan would have perhaps downplayed such a comment enormously, but he knew that it was the truth, and instead simply moved on. "Certain elements were doing their best to hinder me as I tried to get control of my workload," he said quietly, a small smile rising to his features but not illuminating them by any means. "The headaches and constant addition of things to do," he elaborated lightly.
As the last words left his mouth, she was shifting slightly, altering her position and turning to face him. His eyes met hers and he found himself overjoyed that she did not shudder away, unable to meet him face-to-face. These little triumphs were still new enough to be celebrated, afterall. Silent and finding nothing really came to mind in the way of small talk, he was surprised and showed it when she finally spoke once more. His eyes widened, if only slightly, and his eyebrows raised barely a centimetre. His eyes then lowered themselves away from her as she expressed her hope that he would not feel responsible. Logically, he knew that if he still found himself accountable for his past actions, then she had every reason to, but as it was his self-esteem was still hardly considered high. How could he help but feel even slightly guilty? He had not really been in control of himself when it came to D'rorah, but then if he had been paying more attention at Quidditch practice, or had asked someone to help him home from St Mungo's (which he assumed he had not, since he couldn't really remember), then Dark Phoenix would not have had a chance to capture him, to submit him to her will, and none of this would have happened. Despite considering himself quite mature for his age, he was still a teenager, and thoughts like this, although unreasonable, still plagued his conscience.
Raising his eyes once more as she continued, he couldn't help but smile lightly; a genuine smile that was so rare across his features of late. "I'm glad," he replied softly, happy beyond measure that she was finally starting to feel like herself again, to feel something other than pain. He could not possibly fail to notice her smile in return, and her next words made him very happy that he had sought her out as soon as possible. He was not quite sure, however, how to take her thanks. He responded eventually with a slight extra raising of one corner of his mouth that formed a small, brief grin.
She continued and he listened quietly, fiddling silently with a small blade of grass beneath his legs. As she smirked and shook her head, he returned that expression, emitting a small sound of laughter. His smile faded gradually and he watched her for a moment; she had trailed off and he wasn't sure if she wanted to continue or not. His eyes caught suddenly by a small distortion of light before her, he blinked a few times successively and then found it was gone once more. Passing it off as a halluctination from lack of sleep, considering there were heavy, dark bags beneath his eyes, he was therefore more than slightly surprised to hear her question whether or not he had seen something. He could only assume she had seen the same thing, and not that it was a huge coincidence and she had seen something else entirely at the exact same time. "Yeah, I saw it..." he responded quietly, searching the self-same spot for any reappearance. "What was that?" he questioned, sure he should be slightly wary but strangely, he was not.
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Post by D'rorah Philosophy on Aug 1, 2009 20:22:45 GMT -5
D'rorah did not fail to notice that Dylan did not bother to contradict her statement regarding his intelligence when she remarked on his schoolwork. Not long befoe he had left, he almost certainly would have... the boy shying away from compliments seemed to have matured as well during his absence. Or at least, since he had finally returned. But then, she supposed they were all having to grow up rather quickly these days. She thought that this, however, was a good change. She had often hoped he would find more confidence within himself... modesty was one thing, but failure to acknowledge one's strengths was quite another; even though both, at times, seemed to exist on opposite sides of a very thin line. [blue]"You have done well in spite of those things,"[/blue] she replied with a small smile as he remarked on the headaches and constant addition of things to do hindering him.
She wondered briefly about the headaches and whether she might be able to do anything about them herself, but her mind had already moved on from that topic as she turned to face him. It reassured her that he met her gaze, not feeling it necessary to look away. The surprise on his face when she began to talk again was nearly amusing, but she spoke from her heart and found herself rewarded when he finally smiled. This was a genuine smile, not one conjured for her sake to calm her or one forced because he felt it was due. And then the grin in response to her thanks conjured an image in her mind of so many similar facial expressions that had come before it.
Perhaps they would both finally heal from everything that had happened. And if it was possible for this to heal, perhaps that meant it was possible for the whole group. There was even a small bit of laughter from him now... where before the only sound had been her own weeping.
When Dylan confirmed that he had also seen the mote of Light, her brow furrowed slightly as he asked what it was. [blue]"I do not know,"[/blue] she replied slowly. Had they been outside, she would have assumed it was simply a chance combination of sunlightl illuminating a speck of dust that happened to dance through the air... but that wouldn't be possible in here. There was certainly light in the room, but not from any particular source like the sun. In fact, that was done on purpose, as sunlight was still rather uncomfortable on her skin after a while. Whatever it was, it seemed to be gone now...
[blue]"Perhaps we are both hallucinating together,"[/blue] she remarked finally, a slight burst of dismissive laughter following the statement. [blue]"Perhaps some trick of the light,"[/blue] she thought aloud, feeling silly for calling so much attention to something as silly as a bit of light. But then, she never had liked anomalies all that much. [blue]"Whatever it was, it seems to have taken me right off the path of my thoughts,"[/blue] she added with an amused shake of her head. She tried to think of what it was she had been talking about before and found herself once again at the revelation that was still formulating in her mind, that she was still having difficulty wrapping her thoughts around.
Somehow, she knew it wasn't something she'd entirely think her way through. Finding it uncommonly easy to put aside her tendency to attack through any thought or idea that eluded her, she pushed it from her mind for now. Somehow, she felt content to simply allow the idea to evolve. As soon as she decided to leave the issue be for the present, a breeze stirred the branches of the willow tree almost giddily and she looked up to watch the leaves and branches dance in the wind. [blue]"I applied to Professor Archer to stay on as an assistant professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts,"[/blue] she remarked casually, still looking up at the leaves as their dancing began to slow and still as the breeze passed. [blue]"I feel confident that I will be allowed to remain at Hogwarts in the coming year."[/blue]
She returned her gaze to Dylan and simply allowed herself to enjoy feeling calm for the moment. She knew that soon she would have to leave the room and head back out into the school. And they would both be forced to return to the various rigors of their schedules. However, she preserved the current moment for the time being, allowing herself to savor it for a bit before she finally rose to her feet. [blue]"I should return to the common room. I have class this morning,"[/blue] she remarked calmly. [blue]"Perhaps we could walk together? I cannot see any reason anyone would question the two Ravenclaw prefects making a morning patrol together."[/blue] She smiled slightly, waiting for an answer. Normally, she would have avoided being seen with another Lightfighter openly, especially if they were coming from the Room of Requirement, for the purpose of secrecy. However, at present she felt compelled to carry the morning out a bit longer... not for any particular purpose, but simply because it would make her happy. Perhaps her consuming focus on safety and secrecy had been another area where her thoughts were slightly misguided. And so, the idea evolved just a bit further, without her really even having to think about it.
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Post by Dylan Cooper on Aug 2, 2009 5:49:03 GMT -5
Accepting her comment that he had done well to catch up on his school work with a brief smile, he observed her reactions as she considered the small, apparent trick of light that they had both seen. Despite the still partially grey hair and an almost contant look of concern that belonged on someone much older, he remembered as he watched her the graceful features of her face. His own features spreading into another grin as she suggested they were hallucinating together, he was content to watch her as she laughed and continued to speak. He raised his eyebrows slightly and continued to smile as she mentioned having spoken to Professor Archer. "That's great, you did say you wanted to stay close next year," he commented casually, remembering that fact. Of course, when she had said that to him, it had been in relation to both the Lightfighters and to him personally; now, however, he wasn't so sure how similar the situation was. He did not elaborate on that comment, however, and simply left it as it was. "What did he say?" he queried lightly, always having rather liked the ex-Astronomy and current Defence teacher, though suspected he wasn't overly fond of Dylan himself. Then again, Professor Archer seemed to like everyone.
Smiling lightly at her as they allowed a small silence to pass between them, he was soon looking up at her from the ground. Noting the smile on her own features as she spoke, he pushed himself from the soft grass beneath and stood before her. "I'd love to," he replied simply, having a class soon as well and looking forward to being wholly distracted throughout it. "It's interesting to see the different elemental rooms..." he mentioned off-handedly. "I do wonder how peaceful metal and fire might be though," he added quietly, beginning to make his way back toward the doorway. As he emerged into the antechamber beyond, he cast a small glance to his own room. The door of course was closed, the symbol of earth carved upon it's front, but he knew exactly what lay behind it; the rolling hills and copious amounts of flora, big and small. The warming sun and shaded trees and the small babbling stream that lay near the centre, running right beside his favourite willow tree. Smiling, he considered that he hadn't felt this happy outside of that room for a long time. In fact, even within that room of late he hadn't been able to be consoled.
Glad that he finally had an opportunity, and even more importantly, a desire to smile, Dylan held the door open for her and closed it once she had passed through the threshold. "So I assume I should meet Niobe as soon as possible, even before this collective meeting," he suggested lightly, sure that they should bond as soon as possible. Though the idea of bonding to someone other than Susan when the Gryffindor was in fact still around was almost beyond him, he knew it was necessary. They would both be safer for it. If what Dee said was true and this girl was not in fact the bain of all evil, Dylan knew it would be hard to hold a grudge against her for something over which she had no control. He would still see his friend, afterall, they just would no longer be connected by that immeasurable bond shared between Elemental Master and Shadow Warrior; he would need to place his trust in this new girl, because ultimately she would be the one whose task it was to protect him.
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Post by D'rorah Philosophy on Aug 2, 2009 20:41:11 GMT -5
"That's great, you did say you wanted to stay close next year,"
D'rorah nodded slightly in response. She had a few compelling reasons to remain at Hogwarts in the coming year, mostly to do with the Lightfighters and being easily accessible for them. As Dylan asked what Archer had said, she twisted her lips thoughtfully for a moment. [blue]"He said he would speak with the Headmistress on my behalf. He seemed interested in having me remain as an assistant professor, but of course, the final decision would lie with the Headmistress herself."[/blue]
D'rorah smiled back as Dylan accepted her offer to walk together back to the common room. She nodded in response to his remark about the different Elemental Rooms. She had seen the room of Water from when Mallan had bonded with Caitlin, and she had seen the room of Earth when Susan and Dylan had joined (I think?). She even recalled having seen the room of Metal when Professor Serlean had used it as a forge to fashion new swords for her. [blue]"I have not seen Fire, but the other rooms are quite nice. Metal is somewhat foreboding if one is not accustomed to it."[/blue]
[blue]"Thank you,"[/blue] replied as held the door open for her. Her response to his question about Niobe began with a nod. [blue]"Yes, it would certainly behoove both of you to meet and join soon. She seemed slightly unsure about meeting you... but I believe that was in relation to the problems that you and I were experiencing previously."[/blue] She looked around briefly as they stepped out into the corridor, reassuring herself that no one else was around to witness their emergence from the Room of Requirement. [blue]"I believe you will find you get along well with one another after a time."[/blue]
She clasped her hands behind her back as she walked, content to either walk quietly or to listen if Dylan wished to speak as they journeyed down the the Common Room. Things were turning out well this morning... and though she still had the dilemma of Kerridon and Dylan to weigh on her mind, the issue no longer seemed as overwhelming as it had at first. At the very least, she had her friend back... and that was enough to content her for the time being.
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Post by Dylan Cooper on Aug 7, 2009 23:15:04 GMT -5
"That's good," he replied quietly. "That's the best you could have hoped for, really; it's lucky our Defence professor is who he is, too." He tacked that last comment on, thinking that if it had been anyone else her chances would have been much slimmer in regards to remaining on as an assistant professor. If things kept improving or at least stayed how they were now, mended and not only cordial but friendly, he imagined he might quite enjoy watching her during lessons, no longer attending but now helping in the class.
Merely nodding in response to her comment about the various Elemental Rooms, he could only imagine how accurate her short description of the Metal room could be. Thinking on it only briefly as they moved into the hallway beyond the Room of Requirement, his mind automatically shifted to the more important topic of conversation regarding the new Shadow Warrior of Earth. Slightly nervous about the thought of meeting her but knowing such a meeting would have to occur as soon as possible, he remained torn on his feelings concerning this subject. He glided over the comment that she herself seemed to, the "problems" they had been experiencing recently only too obvious to him. Resisting the urge to look guilty, cough in an attempt to clear his throat, and throw his eyes anywhere but to her, he did not falter his step.
He noticed as they departed the peculiar but extremely useful room in the middle of this seventh floor corridor that D'rorah looked around, clearly checking whether or not anyone had seen them emerge. As it happened, no-one had. Nodding once more as she stated that him and Niobe would probably get along well eventually, he wondered at that as they continued walking through the castle, his hands sliding into his trouser pockets. "Yeah, probably," he replied softly, his eyes searching the windows as they passed each in turn, looking to the grounds beyond the cold stone walls.
As they walked together, largely in silence, it was not long until they reached the common room. Considering it was only one floor down from their origin however, that was hardly surprising. Being questioned by the snide brass knocker that guarded the entrance and having it allow them to pass rather quickly, Dylan entered the common room and almost dutifully chose to ignore the thoughts that attempted to pervade his mind; thoughts of the last few times the two Ravenclaw prefects had been present in this room. There was of course the incident where he had completely humiliated and tormented her in front of a crowd of their housemates, as well as two encounters involving the ring currently carefully protected in his pocket. He chose, for the moment, to hold onto the ring, thinking it might only confuse D'rorah more in her current dilemma.
Turning to face her as he came to a stop, he smiled lightly. With a few other students up and about already, most passing through the common room headed for an early breakfast, he kept the conversation to a slight minimum. "It was nice seeing you," he said quietly, his voice earnest and his eyes searching for hers. "Hopefully we can do it again sometime?" he questioned lightly, his voice slightly hopeful this time. He realised as he said it exactly what the morning had entailed, including her extreme bout of crying, and considered that perhaps he could have phrased that better. He assumed, however, that she would understand what he meant. "Have a good day," he added with a small smile, heading towards his dormitory to get his books for the first lesson, then planning to head down to the Great Hall for breakfast.
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Post by D'rorah Philosophy on Aug 9, 2009 13:31:33 GMT -5
Though Dylan's "Yeah, probably" was certainly less than enthusiastic about meeting Niobe, she supposed she could understand. As close as he and Susan had been, it would take time for him to completely adjust to having to share that bond with someone knew. At least he didn't have to concurrently grieve Susan's death though. She had already returned to the school, and was walking around with the living quite well, though her hands were taking some time to fully heal. She cast a small glance sideways at him, eying the picture of him with his hands in his trouser pockets as the passed through the corridors before returning her gaze to their progress through the hallway and back toward the common room.
As they entered the common room with surprisingly little jibing from the brass knocker, she couldn't help but remember the last few times she and Dylan had been in the common room together. Of course, remembering those times and reacting to the memories were entirely different things. She could observe the events from the outside now, paint them through the lens of knowing that Dylan hadn't acted entirely of his own accord. Still the doubt lingered in her mind that perhaps somehow the potion had only caused him to admit how he truly felt... perhaps even at a level so deep that he wasn't aware of it or willing to admit it to himself. The scars on her body still burned with the icy shame of having been put out for all of the Ravenclaw common room to see.
She didn't allow herself to linger on the thoughts for the moment. They were too tied up with the events afterward and with all of her emotions regarding everything that had happened that night. And that, of course, only brought her back to her current dilemma. She didn't want to ruin the pleasant morning they were having with any of that, and so she forced herself not to dwell on it.
She smiled a bit as he turned to face her, more facial expression than she typically allowed herself in public. [blue]"It was nice to see you again as well,"[/blue] she replied quietly, her eyes meeting his as she stood facing him. His question and the hope in his voice caused the smile to travel to her eyes. She really did have her friend back, finally... at the very least, it seemed they would always have that. [blue]"I would like that,"[/blue] she replied honestly, knowing without even really having to think about it that he must mean the pleasant parts of the morning, rather than her wretched sobbing in the Room of Requirement. [blue]"Perhaps soon,"[/blue] she added, thinking it would be nice if they established a regular dialogue. It was nice to have a confidante among the Lightfighters... someone else who would understand the issues and she could talk freely with. While Kerridon might have been that person normally, the need to maintain the secrecy of their relationship meant that she couldn't talk with him nearly as often as she might have liked.
[blue]"Have a good day,"[/blue] she replied back, turning to head to her own dormitory to gather her satchel with her research texts as well as her texts for class and then heading off to class early to take a seat and get some work done before the other students would arrive.
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