Heartless and Lifeless

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

This was not something Zee was looking forward too. How could he explain? How could this have even happened? Since the day she'd vanished . . . No, before than even, his every breath had been a whispered 'Wysteria.' Self preservation aside, she had been his reason for siding with the lightfighters, had been what kept him from simply seeking out another opportunity and another victim. Any free time had been spent sitting in the astronomy tower going over in his head their first meeting and all their rendezvous there since. He had shed more tears for her than for any other reason in his entire life. And now she was back, and somehow things had changed.

She was here, and yet when he was with her his thoughts were with someone else, someone who had held him together over the past few months. Someone who had held onto him and gone with him as he'd dragged himself through hell. His Shadow Warrior, with whom he shared all thoughts and emotions, from whom he could take such joy and peace from simply sitting with and feeling accepted. They were the embodiment of synergy; together they were greater than the sum of each of them alone. Just thinking about it, despite all the complications, brought a small smile to Zee's lips.

It evaporated quickly as soon as he reached the edge of the woods. Taking a deep breath, Zee headed in, wand in hand, ready to summon a patronus and flee if he happened upon a shadow or a shadow-bound creature. Reaching the clearing where D'rorah had been found, he cleared his throat and called out.

"Wysteria."

[Wysteria Edwin]

D'rorah had made good on her promise to keep the blood bags coming. Wysteria no longer had a ravaging hunger overwhelming her sense of reality. For this she was thankful and relieved. She always enjoyed the visits from her old friend. Wyst found comfort in that someone from her old life still care for her and accept her changed form and diminished magical abilities. Although she had not heard from Alessandro since the night he entered the forest, she knew that encounter would need to be well planned. Wyst knew of her Elemental Master's fragile emotional state, and she had no intention of causing further damage by trying to reveal herself before he could handle reestablishing their connection again. She was falling into a comfortable routine in the forest, and now that she no longer hunted wild game, the centaurs and other creatures were not as hostile toward her.

Yet, he had not returned to her.

The days after Zee had first run into the forest to find her, Wysteria's nights were filled with the memories of that encounter. Replaying the words, actions, and embraces in her head made the time go by quickly and her mouth remembered how to smile. The nights in the Astronomy tower were now a happy nostalgic recollection for her instead of a depressing foray into a life she could never come back to after her bites. He didn't care about the change, and was only concerned with being near her again.

But after a few weeks went by, she began to wonder why Zee was not making regular visits. She had mentioned this to D'rorah, but she did not have an answer. Wysteria wondered if Dee knew more but was hesitant to divulge any information Zee himself was planning on telling her. Wyst immediately thought the worst, that he had become disgusted with her animal side and could not imagine being with a vampire.

Honestly, who are you kidding? An attractive Slytherin with profound magical abilities wouldn't waste his life as an outcast simply because he was attracted to you for a short time.

But...he said he loved me...even after he knew...

This argument played in Wysteria's head over and over until the time came when she decided to accept that he may have simply recanted his feelings and the rush into the forest was done in haste. Once he had time to think about his actions, his mind changed. It was a horrible thought, but she did not want to think that someone who loved her would simply abandon her for weeks with no reason. Especially when he knew he was all alone in the forest.

Sitting on a large sycamore by the clearing where D'rorah's body was found (where she often came hoping he might show up again), she heard footsteps on the outskirts of the forest. Her head snapped, and with eyes glowing she scanned the darkness and found the figure of Zane walking to her. Wysteria flew a few feet in mid air to stand on her branch, watching him more closely. A wave of intense relief and happiness sank into her and she smiled broadly. Yes, he had come for her.

Wait...why is he walking?

He hadn't see her in weeks, and the first time he came here he ran through the thick forest. As he appraoched, Wyst could read his body language and scent better, and became aware of some unnerving facts. His stride was shakey, not confident. And she almost...was that fear? Dread? No, why would he feel that coming to her? A cold shudder rumbled in the pit of her stomach and she sank down on the branch, slowly making her way down the tree so she was on the ground but covered by darkness when he said her name.

She stepped into the moonlight gracefully, a stiff wind making its way through the clearing and blowing her dark hair back. Her eyes still retained a dull shine as she brought her head up to look at him. Unsure of his intentions, she settled on a neutral response.

"Zane Lucifer Bishop. What brings you to visit the vampire?" She asked, a mocking smile playing on the side of her mouth.

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

Well aware of her advanced stealth prowess, Zee didn't jump when she stepped out into the moonlight a little to his right. Knowing he was relatively safe now that she was close by, his wand was slipped back into storage. He thought it somewhat funny that she used his full name; no one seemed to do that anymore. He had even stopped faithfully introducing himself as such. In more ways than one it seemed she was a reminder of a past he'd rather not remember. Putting his hand to his chin, he rubbed his thumb across his lips contemplatively as he considered her question.

"Honesty."

That was the simplest explanation after all. He didn't have to come talk to her. He could have quite effectively simply ignored the situation. It wasn't like he was going to bump into her in the hall or anything. But he had chosen to explain things to her, even though he knew it would kill her, figuratively speaking. Not sure where to begin, he decided an apology for it taking so long for him to return was in order.

"I'm sorry it's been so long since I came to you. Things have been hectic. We're not sure what to do about Darko, a new Elemental Master of Wind has arisen, and I've been trying to earn the trust of some of the Lightfighters. But . . . you don't know about that."

Zee had completely forgotten that he'd yet to even tell her about what he'd done to Dylan. She had always known there was darkness in him, but it had always been distant and undefinable. Now he could give her a clear picture of it. He decided to go ahead and explain that, if only to avoid the thing he'd actually come to tell her.

"Do you remember the night of the Halloween Masque? D'rorah was upset at Dylan's lack of presence, but then it was discovered he was in the hospital wing because he'd been attacked the night before. Well, that was me. I put him there. I came across him as I was heading to the Astronomy tower to await your reply to my invitation. I subdued him, tortured him, then left him in the hospital wing. The others all know. Keaira saw it when we joined, I told D'rorah the same day she told me about your . . . death. She told Dylan, and I told all the others at a meeting we had."

His tone was very matter of fact throughout his disclosure. He simply waited to see how she would react to that before he offered any explanation. He thought she might need a few moments to absorb that, and didn't want to get all emotional just yet, the way he had not long ago with Susan. Zee really didn't enjoy reliving that whole experience.

[Wysteria Edwin]

"Honesty."

Her brow crinkled slightly, unsure how to interpret this answer. As he explained his prolonged absence, Wysteria examined his body language more closely. He was not at ease with her as he was when he had first come to visit. There was no boyish swagger that accompanied his relaxed demeanor....he appeared uneasy, his movement a bit more jerkish than before. Her mind began to run scenarios of every possible piece of bad or unpleasant news. Although she was an inured vampire, Wysteria could not imagine the information Zane gave her.

"Do you remember the night of the Halloween Masque? D'rorah was upset at Dylan's lack of presence, but then it was discovered he was in the hospital wing because he'd been attacked the night before. Well, that was me. I put him there. I came across him as I was heading to the Astronomy tower to await your reply to my invitation. I subdued him, tortured him, then left him in the hospital wing. The others all know. Keaira saw it when we joined, I told D'rorah the same day she told me about your . . . death. She told Dylan, and I told all the others at a meeting we had."

She thought he might be confessing to a past crime, committed against people she had never known or heard of in her life. When she learned it was Dylan, a place inside her heart went numb for several moments and then tingled uncomfortably. No wonder the lightfighters were having trust issues with him. He hurt a supposed friend, one of the "good guys". The very same night she had spent time getting ready for the Masque, hoping Zane would like the dress she picked out. That seemed so long ago, as all her human memories faded more every day, becoming nebulous and foggy. His confession looked mechanic, but it may have been the easiest way for him to confess if he did have remorse....

Wysteria shook her head violently, as if trying to rid the whole idea out of her head and make it untrue. Why was she trying to defend him? Did he have remorse? Could he? Was he even darker than her own evil needs? She had never known Dylan closely, although his place in her group of friends and colleagues made him every bit as important as if she had been great friends with the boy. There were so many questions, but the most important one bubbled up to the surface before too long.

"Do you feel any remorse for what you did? The act of hurting an innocent human being? A friend?" She stared at him, refusing to look away, as if challenging him to give her the worst answer possible. No matter what he said, she was going to stay exactly where she was until everything was out and in the open.

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

Her response was relatively calm and logical. It seemed she was seeking more information to get a clearer image of him before she passed judgment. He could give her that. He could tell her of the many hours he'd spent in mental anguish over what he'd done, how he had submitted himself for judgment to the assembled lightfighters. Yes, he could paint himself as utterly contrite and redeemed without speaking any falsehoods to her.

But is that what you want?

Zee paused as he considered that, staring blankly back at the vampire who had given him so much. Did he want her to think well of him? Would he build up her affection for him, try and impress her and get her to love him more than ever, and then crush her by explaining about the love that had blossomed between himself and Keaira? It was the more honest path perhaps, but it seemed cruel. Any approach he took would hurt her, of that he was certain, but what if he could lessen that pain?

Make her hate you. Dull her torment with anger. It's for the best.

Zee shrugged slightly as his face took on an incredulous expression. He couldn't lie to her, but he could choose the truths he gave to make himself appear the villain. He scoffed quietly before speaking again.

"Neither Cooper nor I have ever looked upon the other with ideas of friendship, and despite what a certain Shadow Warrior of Water may think, there are no innocent human beings. We're all guilty of something. As for remorse, does it matter? Nothing can ever change the fact that I inflicted grievous wounds on him, set him on fire, slashed his flesh innumerable times, toyed with his mind. And through it all I enjoyed myself thoroughly. But are you truly surprised Wysteria? You always knew there was a darkness in me."

He left it at that, gazing impassively back at her. Eventually he would have to get to the part about Keaira, but if she already hated him by then, she would not see it as such a loss. That was the theory anyway.

[Wysteria Edwin]

Wysteria's eyes widened for a few moments after Zane finished his response. She was not sure which part of the conversation bothered her more: the completely neutral greeting to her supposed love thus far, or the impassive nature in which that "love" described the torture of her friend. A small switch was flicked in the vampire's head; at least, that's how it felt to her. Zane was one of the only things keeping her attached to her human life and the idea that she was still human. Now, she knew that she was not human. How could she be, when even as a human she clearly picked demented partners who had the emotional depth of a teaspoon. This encounter should make it all the more clear to her that she was born a monster, and the facade of goodness that permeated her human actions was simply that: a facade. These reeling thoughts came a mile a second, with little time to react or rationalize. She was slowly shutting down, which was the easiest thing to do at the time.

"Well, how very Machiavellian of you. I'm so glad you have such sympathy for me and what that information might mean." Her eyes flashed blue briefly: an instinctual warning that she was on edge. It went unnoticed by Wyst; her powers were more easily tapped than before and she hadn't learned to control them yet, and full mastery wouldn't come for decades. In this irritated state, she took what she thought were a few quick steps to him, but in real time it was a fast-motio blur from where she stood to only a few inches from him.

"What's your problem?" she said, her fear masked by a direct coldness she hoped wouldn't haunt her later. If his distance as because he had some tragic new to tell, she would feel horrible that she mistook it for apathy towards her. But even still, the odds had not favored her lately and she played her cards accordingly. The torture of Dylan fell to the back of her mind, to be processed later. As a vampire it was very easy to let things drop. The sense of eternity and little care for fleeting things seeped into her person the moment she rose. Her love, this love, was still in her mind but packaged away. She dealt with things as a rational being with all the time in the world: one thing at a time, and the most dangerous thing first.

Her concern centered on this thing before her: this breakable young man who had something to hide, something big. She could smell a kind of deceit the moment she got closer to him...an interesting sensation. Before she had not been able to detect the subtle scents the true undead could pick out from people. She could smell a fear, which could often be associated with lying or betrayal. But the different notes....was it lying? Guilt? It had a sadness...regret? Learning the smells was part instinct, part practice.

But whatever the smell was, it made her nose crinkle and her stomach flip. "I smell something deceitful on you. Have you hurt another one of my friends?" She stood perfectly still; staring him down until he answered for his strange behavior

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

Though it made him want to grimace with shame, the clear shock on her face that he had done such a thing or perhaps that he was recounting the events in such a detached manner, Zee used all that practice of displaying false emotion to keep his expression apathetic. There was a danger in this path, as he was beginning to feel as though he actually could simply turn off the compassion that Wysteria had planted in his heart and that Keaira had nurtured into full being. At the moment he walked the edge, only pretending to be so uncaring, but he felt it would be all to easy to slip back into the pure selfishness that had governed him before. Still he held to his plan, not letting her see any pain.

In spite of himself, Zee took an involuntary step back as Wysteria's eyes flashed incandescent blue. Archer had taught them about vampires, and he had done extensive extracurricular research on them as well; he understood the implications of that shift. Ironically there was a time not so many months ago when he would have welcomed a vampiric attack, whether it left him dead or undead. Soon after he'd lost Wysteria, he'd grown somewhat apathetic about his own existence, a sense not aided over much by the distrust and hatred he felt from many of his allies. He would have welcomed the oblivion of death or detachment from his humanity vampirism would have granted him. Now though he couldn't afford to die. In fact he had promised Keaira that he wouldn't.

Though he was beginning to suspect he may actually be in some notable danger, the thought hadn't sunk in enough that he considered taking measures to ensure his safety. A wall of silver between them might not have been a bad idea. As it was the sudden proximity he found himself sharing with her very nearly put him on his backside, though he recovered quickly, straightening as if there was some comfort in being taller than she. Her question caught him nearly as off guard as her movement, and his head angled to one side as he considered how to answer. Her follow up comment and question changed his line of thinking though. She could tell something was off. He had read that it was incredibly difficult to effectively lie to a vampire. He had hoped his presence would somewhat cloud that ability in her. Apparently it had not.

While he almost immediately denied having hurt another, he held that urge in, realizing it would actually be a lie. With a single quiet, bitter laugh, he nodded and spoke.

"I have yes, but not in the same way I hurt Cooper. Something much worse, and someone you value far more. Physically I've not harmed him . . . well actually I did club him over the head with a steel bar, but that was self defense. But your Elemental Master, Darko; I've stolen his love."

Covertly Zee began to gather the small bit of silver that was into reach into a single vein in the ground beneath them. He truly hoped he wouldn't need it, but much as it may have been deserved, he would not let her kill him.