Thou art to me a delicious torment.(Zane)

[Keaira O'Connell]

March 22th.It was a beautiful day. It was also the Friday just before Zane’s birthday. Of course Zane's birthday had to be on a Tuesday this year, but that just meant she would have the weekend to celebrate, and then again on Tuesday she could do something else… But first thing first, today was a day for travel. Keaira had already gathered the proper approval from the new head of house Professor McTiernan, and she had packed everything that may be needed for the weekend in her backpack. Magical expansion really was a useful trait to have on a book bag. She could fit pretty much her entire wardrobe, and any emergency supplies she may need in there without raising the burden of weight beyond 5 lbs. However, instead she only needed to worry about roughly three days worth of clothing for each of them, plus those supplies… mostly potions and other things Keaira thought might be useful for the weekend.

The plan as they had discussed it involved the two of them walking out of Hogwarts and then hopping brooms over to the Bishop estate. Of course Zane wasn’t entirely keen on the idea of flying there, as he was not entirely confident with his own ability….which was something Keaira would never say or even think loudly. Zane was many things, including stubborn, arrogant, as well as a trifle bit temperamental. Hearing her question his flying ability would be something that he would not take too kindly upon, even if it was true. However, Zane’s flying abilities aside, that was their method of travel for this trip, and therefore, he would have to manage.

At three ten when charms classes ended for the day, Keaira and Zane were officially free for the weekend, and so it was down to the dorms to change, and then they were to meet at the gates at 3:30, plenty of time for Keaira to finish gathering things together, and for Zane to grab their brooms. Of course Keaira was precisely on time as she pretty much always was on time for things she planned. The clock tower chimed at 3:30 as Keaira reached the gate, and turned to search for her companion. It didn’t take long before she spotted him making his way across the grounds with their brooms in tow. As of next week he would be old enough to being apperetion testing, but that was still a few days away. Perhaps for their next trip it could be something they could consider. But the day was bright, a smile was on her face, and she greeted the boy with both her radiant smile and when he was closer, a kiss.

“Hey there love, miss me much?” Keaira asked, the smile never fading in the least. Things may be crazy, and nothing short of sad, but sometimes it was best to just sit back, relax, and enjoy life’s good moments. “Everything ready, or do we need to add anything to my bag?”

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

Zee was going home. He hadn't been since he'd cruciated his mother, imperiused both his parents, and left for Hogwarts. This was going to be an interesting trip. Or an unbelievably dull one, since he didn't really see releasing them as a feasible possibility at this point. D'rorah was right; they were safer this way. If he released them and tried to explain everything, tried to get them to flee, they likely wouldn't believe him. He hadn't exactly inspired an overwhelming sense of trust. No, this would be more of a bit of alone time for he and Keaira than anything. They did need to sort through some things.

Once he was dressed, Zee headed for the quidditch pitch to retrieve their brooms. He really wasn't thrilled about flying so far, but there was no better option. At times like this he wished he could simply apparate, but he wasn't old enough to have a license and that was a piece of forbidden knowledge he hadn't pursued. Just as well. He'd be able to learn soon enough. Maybe that would provide a good way for them all to get the China. Maybe not though. It'd be a long way to go.

Brooms in hand, he didn't immediately head for the meeting place, instead spending a few minutes gazing around the pitch. He'd beaten Alessandro here. Sort of. The younger boy had a first class broom and was a flier of a much higher caliber than Zee, but there was one huge advantage that had allowed the far less experienced Seeker to get his hands on the snitch. Gold was not merely its color, but the element that formed its outer shell. How could he have lost?

If he'd been more honorable and not used his power.

Zee winced at that and quickly put all thoughts of the game and Alessandro out of his mind. He was running slightly late anyway. Hustling across the grass, he was soon approaching his Shadow Warrior. It was a pleasant change to see such a bright, sincere smile on her face. He was very glad he'd left all thoughts of the dead Master of Fire behind him. Returning her kiss and offering his own wry grin, he responded lightly.

"It's only been twenty minutes since we last saw each other. So yes, terribly. I'm sure you've packed everything we'll need. I hope you've brought enough blood replenishing potions to completely refill me after all mine ends up splattered across ten square meters on the Scotland/England border once I fall off."

Offering Keaira the personalized, engraved broom he'd gotten her just before their quidditch game, he made a small gesture and took a step back, grimacing slightly as he held his own broom.

"Ladies first?"

[Keaira O'Connell]

Keaira couldn’t stop her grin from lavishly taking up her entire face when Zane responded. Things had been rapidly changing in Keaira’s mind. She had been a great actress the days following Alessandro’s death. She securely hid both his ashes and his Italian horn, that night after everything was settled, and when she locked them away she locked a part of her with them. The first night she fell to sleep, and did not dream. The next morning she woke up, and began her day like every other one, she bathed, and dressed, and went to class, and ate and took more classes. She asked a few questions, got few answers, and generally was Keaira through and through. When History of magic ended she began her homework as usual, keeping her mind occupied as best as she could until dinner. After dinner she went to her Astronomy class, where she studied the stars, and found herself glancing over to the ledge where Alessandro fell from nearly every 5 minutes. When the class ended she headed down a few floors, intending on going to her dorm, but on the fifth floor she felt the beginnings of herself falling apart. She stopped in the prefect bathroom, knowing that she would not be bothered within its walls, and there she broke down. At first it was only tears, but soon she began to sob, and then she just wanted to scream. She drew a bath, and climbed in, after a deep breath she submerged herself, and screamed. She repeated the process several times, coming up for air, and then screaming underwater, knowing that no one would hear her, and after a while, when all of the anguish felt like it was gone, when the tears stopped coming, and when she was exhausted beyond anything she could remember, she went to her dorm, and fell asleep. Then the nightmares took over.
The next day was better, people had begun to ask about Alessandro, and she was able to show some of the worry and anxiety that plagued her. She felt less like she was drowning in sorrow, and more like she was another casualty in this war, like they all were. By day seven she had come to the conclusion that eventually they would all be consumed by the war, and what remained of them would only be shells of who they would have been without the stresses of being a warrior in a losing battle. Of course that night she had that strange dream that left her with a small bit of hope, yet as the days progressed the hope withered. When it had been 15 days since his death, and an unsuccessful search had been mounted, and it seemed that no one had been in touch with Dylan either, Keaira decided that it was likely that none of them would survive the year, let alone the war, and at any moment, anyone of them could be next. Two days ago, Keaira came to the conclusion that if that was the case, which it very likely was, then each moment needed to be one that she could say she lived to the fullest, and enjoyed beyond measure. So here they were, and here she was, allowing the sun to soak into her skin, a sincere smile to grace her lips, and letting her heart feel the happiness she had at being with Zane. Breathing in life’s’ wonderful joys and hoping that the next moment isn’t marred with the scent of freshly spilt blood. Although she still spent a large amount of her alone time brooding over Alessandro’s death, Keaira had been very diligently keeping those moments to herself. She had even taken the time to fake sleeping, and dreaming, so that Zane would go to sleep before she would, and therefore be spared whatever nightmare her subconscious might bring forth.

Her thoughts now were only for the boy who was here with her, and his comment brought forth her own. “Don’t worry, I’ve got everything that might be needed to patch you up, I just hope that you know where were going, cause if not I might need to stop and brew some more. I only packed enough to refill you three times…which only gives us one a day. And before we take off, how about a quick disillusionment, you’re better at it than I am.” With a slight wink, and a quick kiss on the cheek, Keaira took her broom from his hand, kicked the foot rests to one side, and sat with both legs on the same side. She hovered a few feet from the ground, and with her left hand pulled out her wand.
“Point me.” With the quick command the wand spun around to point north, which would hopefully be all the guidance Zane needed to get them in the right direction… He was after all the one who knew where they were headed. Keaira hovered in the air, and waited for Zane to lead the way.

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

Zee's grin turned into an amused smirk at Keaira's response. All joking aside, he was slightly concerned about such a long trip on a broom. If he should happen to fall however, he'd just have to keep his wits about him well enough to plant a cushioning charm between himself and the ground. He'd had ample practice with that after all. Of course, after the whole incident with Alessandro, he figured he'd be throwing himself off the Astronomy tower with far less frequency.

The smirk once again became a true smile in response to his cheek being kissed. Zee very much approved of the change that had recently come over Keaira. He knew Alessandro's death would hit her hard, hard enough that he wasn't sure she'd recover. He'd comforted her as best he could over the last two weeks, but it had been clear that there was only so much he could do and there were large portions she had to do alone. It had done her some good in the end however, and her philosophy now was not so far off from his own. Zee'd always known that life was a cold-hearted and heavy-handed bitch of a mistress (though this was more in response to the suffering he inflicted rather than endured) and the best you could do was fight to enjoy what moments you could. He'd tried to explain as much to Caitlin, but that conversation had ended poorly. For a moment, he shuddered at the thought of what it would have been like to arise after Gat's death as the Master of Water. That would have been a tempestuous bonding.

Mounting his own broom, but keeping his feet square on the ground for now, Zee gestured for a moment and muttered the incantation. Both he and Keaira melted from sight for the most part. It made him very glad that he was leading. As the more experienced flier, she would no doubt be able to follow, but he'd be lost trying to pursue a mostly invisible target. He'd of course figured out exactly what direction he needed to travel to reach his parents' estate beforehand, and with the aid of the wand-turned-compass he knew where to go. He'd stay close enough to the ground to be able to tell where he was once they got a bit further south anyway. Kicking off the ground, he offered one last joking comment before he rose up and sped away.

"Just don't expect me to pull over and ask for directions. You know I'll never do it."

Most everything he'd said had been completely facetious of course. He was no great flier but neither was he prone to dropping off his broom mid-flight for no apparent reason. And of course he had studied the flight path enough that he did not get lost. It actually wasn't that long before he was touching down at the base of the hill atop which stood his parents' mansion. With a backhanded gesture he dismissed the disillusionment on himself, and able to feel Keaira close behind him, the one on her as well. Zee's strides rose up the hill as his eyes did the same, taking in the view he'd not seen since early October. What would he feel when his parents stood before him, trapped helplessly in the deep recesses of their own minds? How could he apologize? Would it even be worth it, since he wouldn't be setting them free today? The dread welling up inside him ended abruptly. His feet did likewise. Confusion veritably radiated from him as his jaw fell open in disbelief.

There, above the front double doors and decorated with cheerily colored balloons, was a "Happy Birthday Zane!" banner. It made no sense at all. His parents had been under his control, programmed to simply go about their daily lives. He'd not had them hang this. The confusion gave way to a level of terror that was heretofore unknown to Zee. Something was very wrong.

[Keaira O'Connell]

With his last comment, Keaira smiled and pulled up on her broom, following closely behind Zane. The trip went smoothly, and Keaira was thankful that she never had to dive down after Zane's body, to save him from an impromptu meeting with the ground. As they reached his parents estate and touched down at the bottom of a hill, Keaira remained hovering on her broom as Zane began walking slowly up to the crest of the hill. Of course as Zane was walking Keaira couldn’t help but to comment on the situation. Directing her broom so that she was flying backwards, facing Zane, she shook her head, and smiled.

“You know dear, we could have just flown to the top, instead of walking.”

Keaira continued to fly backward up the hill, trying to remain calm about the weekend that was ahead of them. Sure there was the situation with his parents, which may or may not be a problem, but mostly the weekend would be the two of them… alone. That thought by its self, had Keaira looking over Zane from head to toe, and slightly biting down on her lower lip.

Of course Zane's thoughts were far from where Keaira’s were. Anxiety radiated off of him, as he worried about his parents. An unrest that Keaira hoped a few words would help smooth over. However, just as she intended on telling him that it would be alright, he stopped. All his thoughts switched from how he could apologize to his parents, to shock, and then a fear so powerful that Keaira nearly fell off of her broom. She closed her eyes, and took a breath to steady herself, before she slowly turned to face the house.

There where there should have been nothing, was a large banner and a bunch of balloons. Keaira did not arrange for this. Which meant that as Zane was thinking, something was wrong. When Keaira looked back to Zane, the shock was clear on her face. There were only so many possibilities, and none of them sounded fun in Keaira mind. There were after all only a few people who were privy to this trip and if the new head of Slytherin had told Lapointe… what awaited them could be quite terrible indeed. She glanced from the house to Zane, and then back again before she spoke up. Each word was dripping with hesitance and worry.

“This could be bad Zane, what if it’s a trap.”

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

It had not even occurred to Zee that keaira may have planned this and somehow kept it from him. It could be done after all with enough effort, keeping some little bit of information from slipping from one mind to the other. When Keaira turned to take in the scene, a bit of hope sprang up in his heart, but her shocked expression and the concern in her mind snuffed out that hope. The fear returned, but only briefly. Terror was not something Zee was much accustomed to. But rage, hate, these were familiar. These were old friends.

Dropping his broom to the dirt, he drew out his wand. He could use magic fine without it, but the instrument channeled his power, strengthened his spells. He remembered the day D'rorah had selected the wand for him in Ollivander's. He'd been pleased with it then, though it hadn't seen much use since his Elemental powers manifested, and virtually none of the sort he'd originally intended it for. He'd remedy that now. Left hand held out to his side in a fist, a slight rumbling could be felt for a moment before an amorphous blob of metal burst forth from the ground, answering its master's call faster than it ever had before. Enveloping his clenched hand, it quickly molded into one of the spiked and bladed gauntlets he loved so much. Dark narrow eyes flashed to Keaira as he stalked past her, finishing his ascent toward the house. He didn't even speak, merely sending his reply into her mind.

"Then the one who baited it will very soon be screaming."

He meant it. Despite all his knowledge, everything he'd learned at school about magic and more recently about the Shadow Wars, there was still nothing Zee knew so well as inflicting pain. He hadn't a clue what awaited him inside, whether it would be shadows or shadow soldiers or perhaps the headmistress herself, and he didn't particularly care. If it was shadow soldiers he would cruciate them and tear them to shreds as they writhed screaming on the floor. If shadows he would hold them back with Elemental Light until Keaira destroyed them. If the headmistress . . . If Caira were there then he would probably not survive, but the whole world be damned if he was going to go down without taking that bitch with him. Reaching the front entrance and finding he had no free hand to work the latch, Zee punched out with his gauntletted hand, sundering one of the doors into kindling and sending the other swinging inward with enough force to slam into the adjacent wall. Eyes and wand darting about, Zee was greeted with stillness.

Just stillness.

Recklessly charging through the house, he was intent on finding whatever fiend still lurked about, waiting for him. His heavy footfalls came to an abrupt halt however as he reached a smallish sitting room near the back, the very room in which he'd used his first unforgivable curses on other humans, torturing and enslaving his parents. It was where he'd left them, and it was where he found them. They sat side by side on the couch peacefully, their eyes looking right at him. Looking at him, and seeing nothing. A giftwrap bow adorned his mother's head, while a tag declaring this to be his birthday present hung from his father's ear. The cold, logical part of his mind told him what had happened. He recognized the work of the killing curse when he saw it. Part of him wouldn't accept it however, his expression and emotions going blank, and as he sank slowly to his knees his thoughts just repeated themselves over and over while he silently mouthed along with them.

"No. No. No. No. No. No. No."

[Keaira O'Connell]

As Zane armed himself and headed to the door Keaira wanted more than anything to tell him to wait. But she didn't. Sure a horrible death could await them both, but she understood Zane and he probably would not have listened to her words. Instead of wasting them Keaira did something she had become quite accustomed to doing, she poured open her mind and search through the house seeking the minds of anyone who might be lying in wait, ready to spring their attack. She found none. Silence met her mind, well near silence; the only people around who were thinking were herself and Zane.

The silence in her mind was nearly as unnerving as the silence in her ears. With one fluid movement Keaira pulled out her wand and hopped off her broom. Without needing to run she was able to catch up to Zane shortly after he entered the house. Not really concerned with an ambush Keaira took a mere second to throw a Reparo spell at the door before chasing after Zane through the house. It didn't take her long before she entered the room where he had stopped, and she didn't need to see his parents to know what happened, his thoughts revealed it all.

"Oh god..."

Keaira quickened her steps and fell to her knees besides Zane. Her arms deftly wrapped around his torso and just like that she held him. This was simply wrong. No one should have to experience something like this. For a short moment she did nothing but the logical part of her knew what needed to happen. They needed to report this, and things needed to be taken care of. Without addressing Zane, Keaira called for the only one she knew would instantly respond.

"Hermes please come here."

Keaira didn't know what it was that allowed it but no matter what distance was involved if she called for Hermes it didn't take him more than a moment to appear. Which as soon as she finished the sentence there was a loud crack and a short house elf dressed in a full tux with tails appeared besides them. He spoke softly but with an air of authority.

"Yes, Miss Keaira what's wrong...Oh dear..."

Hermes seemed to grasp the situation quite quickly, as was evident with his sudden change in tone. A curious but reserved look came over the elf’s face as he waited for Keaira to inform him of what should be done next. To his unspoken questions Keaira nodded solemnly and with a frown looked from the elf to the lifeless forms of Zane's parents.

"Get James he will know what to do...."

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

Neither Zee's thoughts nor actions gave any sign that he felt Keaira's embrace. His unblinking eyes remained fixed on his parents' bodies. They sat so naturally, Liam's arm draped lightly over Catherine's shoulders. If naivete were even a slight characteristic of his he'd have thought they were simply paralyzed, or still and silent with shock. There was no doubt they'd been arranged as they were, that the scene had been set to hurt him grievously, but why? There was little doubt servants of the mage were behind this, but why had they struck? Why now? Zee's thoughts raced back over all his dealings with the headmistress. Had he ever given an indication that he cared for his parents? She had known they were imperiused. She had known! This made no sense!

Zee's thoughts drifted back to when he had first been given news of Wysteria's "death." He remembered the shock, the pain, the refusal to accept it. It hadn't been like this. He and Wysteria had ended on a good note, had had a wonderful time at the Halloween Masque. This time there would be no final comforting letter to remind him of the good times. There were no good times. There would be no miraculous return (despite the dark nature of her existence and their strained relationship, Zee did consider Wysteria's reemergence a miracle).In his own twisted way, he had loved Wysteria. Did he ever love his parents? Surely not when he'd left for Hogwarts. Later though, when he changed, when he felt regret, when he wanted to free them but couldn't see how, then he began to love them. Before he'd just thought of them as pathetic fools, too weak to really teach him anything, but now he could see that they had done what they thought would be best for him. Fools they still were, but not weak, and not evil. Not like LaPointe. Not like . . . him.

A tiny part of him wanted to rush to them, hug his mother's limp frame to his chest and sob into her hair, just to touch his father's face. He didn't move however. He hadn't the right. He'd tortured them, imprisoned them, and now, indirectly or not, he'd killed them. They were unable to defend themselves because of him. They were considered relevant enough to kill because of him. If he hadn't arisen as an Elemental Master, if he hadn't taken every opportunity to provoke Caira, or perhaps if he had joined the other side, they would be alive now. Much as he had dreaded making his apology to them, he now found his fate far worse. He'd never have the chance. He'd told himself he'd never have their forgiveness, but a tiny sliver of him had held out hope that he would. Now he couldn't. Not ever. Now they would forever be little more than his first human victims.

Pitching forward so that he was on his hands and knees, Zee threw up.

[Keaira O'Connell]

Although Keaira did not cease to embrace Zane, she might as well have been on another planet for all of the acknowledgement that Zane gave to her. Keaira wanted more than anything to make the look on Zane's face go away, but there was nothing that she could think to do, nothing she could say, and nothing that would make this better. Keaira was unsure of what could be done to help Zane; however, she knew what could be done with the situation that alone, spurred her into action. When he threw up, she cleaned it the majority of the vomit using a terigo spell, and then using the first aid kit, she pulled out some bandages, and used them as washcloths so that Zane could clean up.

When the elf disappeared it was only a mere moment before her returned, and with him a young man, one that Zane had already had the pleasure of meeting. Before anything else James hugged Keaira. And not long after the man started to do things. Within 10 minutes the room was filled with various witches and wizards asking questions, and taking note of the details of the house and the murders. A medic supplied both Keaira and Zane with soothing drafts, to help with the effects of the shock. Throughout the investigating Zane was mostly catatonic, not speaking, and only when required responding with a nod or a shake of his head. Both of their wands were checked, and Keaira had told at least 20 ministry officials the same story over and over again. They had arranged for a weekend with Zane's parents, to celebrate his coming of age birthday. They had all the proper authorization for the weekend trip, and upon arriving at the estate, they noticed the banner, and the door was ajar. Expecting a warm welcome they entered the house, and found the bodies arranged thusly, tags and all. It was horrifying for her, explaining so many times what she had seem, but she had to do it, for the sake of Zane.

After three or four hours of talking to multiple investigators, and officials of every kind, things slowed down, and Keaira and Zane were told that there was nothing that the investigators could discover. After that they were told to get some rest, an idea that didn’t seem to be one that either could submit to, at least not while they were in the house that his parents were murdered in. Of course as soon as James had a moment he made sure that Cyanne and Anapos were informed of the situation, which meant simply that Keaira would not be allowed to stay with Zane alone, anyway. They also informed Zane that he should stay with her and it would be easily arranged for as long as was necessary. He didn’t say much in response, but when Keaira held his hand as James apparated them back to the house, he didn’t argue or let go, he just held on. By eleven pm Keaira and Zane were at her parents estate, where Zane was offered a bedroom just down the hall from Keaira’s, and by midnight, Keaira was changed into pajamas, and had just cracked open the door to Zane's room.

A black and red bathrobe was wrapped around her body, and a white teddy bear was pressed into her arms. She was frowning as she crossed the room, headed for Zane who was sitting down, simply staring at the window, looking for nothing. Keaira wanted to comfort him, but what she should do was something she couldn’t really grasp. Having just experienced the death of a friend, Keaira wasn’t the best person to comfort anyone. Sitting down beside him Keaira looked at him with sad eyes, and spoke, in barely a whisper.

“Hey. Are you going to be ok my love?”

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

After he was done being ill, Zee slumped back onto his bum with his legs out in front of him and bent slightly inward, blankly staring at the floor between his knees. Somewhere inside he felt appreciation for Keaira's aid in cleaning it up, but the feeling wasn't nearly strong enough to breech his outer wall of nothingness, and thus no sign was given. When he found himself holding a bandage and encouraged to wash up, he spent the next hour or so idly dabbing the corners of his mouth, giving no acknowledgment to the arrival of James or the other men and women. When given the soothing draught, he simply held it in one hand until the slightly flustered medic physically coerced him into drinking it. It's effects were minimal. Had he been more aware of what was going on, he'd have been thankful that all his unforgivable curses had been cast wandlessly. Though he had performed dark magics with his wand, he'd been careful to avoid things that could get him sent to Azkaban.

All in all he complied with any instructions given so long as they didn't require any real effort on his part, nodding slightly or shaking his head when asked simple questions, though his eyes were blank and seemed aimed in random directions, never directly at the speaker. When he was told he'd be allowed to stay with the O'Connells, he nodded and looked over to the sofa where his parents had been found, though their bodies were long since moved. His first meeting with Keaira's parents was less than exemplary. When they introduced themselves he simply nodded yet again, though he did look them in the faces, if not the eyes. He ignored the offered handshakes, instead meandering over to a window and staring out it until he was gently guided upstairs to a guest bedroom.

Once there he was left sitting on the bed. He tried staring out the window, but the drapes were shut, so instead he stared at them. It was just as well; he wasn't really seeing them anyway. All he ever saw, all he'd seen for the last half day or so, was his parents' blank, glassy eyes and the bow stuck to Catherine's head and the tag dangling from Liam's ear. His breathing was ragged and his eyes red when Keaira sat beside him. Though he'd been inactive throughout the day, he'd been far from relaxed, and hadn't blinked nearly as often as he should have. After a moment of perpetuating his lack of responses, Zee slowly turned his face toward her. His expression remained blank and his eyes were much the same. They were not hard, but empty, much as his parents' eyes had been. Lifeless. His voice was hoarse from lack of use as he murmured out a reply.

"Have I ever been?"

[Keaira O'Connell]

He was worse off than she had thought he would be. Although she knew he was just as human as the rest of them, somewhere in her mind she had thought that because of his nature the deaths of his parents would affect him less in some manner. She was wrong. She knew how she would have reacted if it was her parents that were staring blankly at her from that couch, and she knew that it would not have been like Zane’s response. Surely she would have savagely shaken their shoulders in an attempt to deny what was truth, pointlessly attempting to wake them from their forced slumber… And of course she would have been hysterical. But this emptiness would not have been her. Throughout it all, she wondered why it was his parents that were chosen, and how she had escaped being the one who had to suffer. Yet, she realized as she sat there next to him on the bed, that by making Zane suffer; they succeeded in making her suffer as well.

Her frown deepened with the question that Zane poised in response to her, small wrinkles forming between her eyes. It was by all accounts a good question, as how could you say you would be ok, if you never were, and yet she felt that it was merely a way of him avoiding the question. She puzzled over it for a few short breaths, weighing the responses that she had come up with and deciding what she should say to him. Her initial response of yes, of course was held back, as she evaluated it, determining that it wasn’t necessarily true. Although the determination was merely do to the fact that her definition of ‘ok’ was not necessarily the standard, and therefore she might not be correct in assuming that Zane had in fact ever been ok.

Leaning against him slightly Keaira rested her head on Zane’s shoulder. What she should say to him and what she had actually came up with were two very different things, and yet, she knew that lies would neither help him, nor make him feel better. Letting out a small breath of air, Keaira spoke softly to him, hoping that he would hear what she had to say and not become further closed off about it, anything, even anger would be preferable to this.

“Well, I suppose it depends on how you mean it. If you intended that to really ask if you were ever by normal standards, ok, or alright, I would have to answer no, you never were. But then again any of us who were destined to be part of this war never was. But I wasn’t asking if you would be that level of ok, I was asking if you would be returning to the state of being that you were in 12 hours ago. If you would be ok, in that Zane Lucifer Bishop way. The way that makes me laugh and smile and sometimes make me angry, but all in all is still you. Maybe not tonight, or next week, but eventually, when you’ve had the time to process what has happened, will you be ok?”

[Zane Lucifer Bishop]

His gaze had shifted away from her as soon as he'd answered, and his head soon followed, again staring blankly at the curtains. The contact she made, leaning against him with her head on his shoulder, was summarily ignored. There was no malice in him, no intent to hurt her. He just didn't want pity, didn't want comfort. In fact Zee didn't really want anything. In that state, he desired nothing and felt nothing. After Keaira spoke, Zee exhaled in a dry staccato that sounded almost like it might have been laughter, albeit humorless laughter. He didn't shift his vision away from the curtains this time as he spoke.

"Destined? I've never believed in destiny, at least I never did before all this. Now though, since there clearly are "forces of light and darkness," I suppose we don't really have the freedom I always thought. I was destined to carve pretty shapes in Cooper as his head burned. Philosophy was destined to feel overwhelming shame whenever anyone laid eyes on her bared flesh. Darko was destined to blow into little pieces and incinerate. And so many others were destined to be caught in the crossfire and killed without ever knowing why. But that's all ok because we're destined to win and restore balance so that wizards and muggles alike can go back to killing each other for whatever petty reasons they make up. Bloody f**king hell but I sure am glad Destiny's here to take care of everything."

Near the end of his speech Zee had begun to feel and express emotion again, though certainly nothing positive. His voice had grown slightly louder and more resentful. His body however had shown no reaction, continuing to sit passively facing the window. His tirade finished, he pulled away from Keaira and curled into the fetal position at the foot of the bed, his back to his Shadow Warrior, lover, and friend. His voice was again quiet and torpid.

"I don't know if I'll be ok. I was never any good at Divinations."